Tagged: Workplace Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • feedwordpress 09:07:58 on 2018/02/13 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , , Overconfident, , Workplace   

    How to Handle Annoying Overconfident People In Your Life 

    We all encounter annoyingly overconfident people from time to time—the ones who come across as if they know everything. Sometimes it’s hard not to let them get under your skin.

    But there is an effective way how to handle overconfident people.

    My work as an executive leadership coach working brings me in contact with top people in all kinds of organizations and industries, so I see overconfident people all the time. Part of my role is to ground them in reality, and part of it is to teach them to deal with other overconfident people.

    First, though, let’s make a distinction clear between two different degrees, or types, of overconfident people. The first is the narcissist, who is not only overconfident but also has a sense of superiority and entitlement. For a detailed discussion of dealing with a narcissist, see my Inc. article How to Deal With a Narcissistic Leader

    But here we’re looking at a run-of-the-mill overconfident colleague, boss, or associate—the ones who get on your nerves on a daily basis. Here are some smart strategies for coping and thriving:

    1. Connect with your own inner security: The best way to deal with an overconfident person is to find your own inner sense of security. When you can find your own confidence, nothing an overconfident person can say or do will undermine you. They may be unable to relate to you and may even say obnoxious or cruel things, but you can always let it slide when you feel secure in yourself.

    2. Don’t let it get to you. This is easy to say but harder to accomplish. But if you can learn to ignore the overconfident, superior attitude and try to find ways to you can enjoy each other’s company, it may benefit you you both. Deep down, there’s probably something to this person that’s worth knowing or exploring, and maybe at the deepest level there may be a person who is good and kind, with something in their background that causes their overconfident behavior.

    3. Know their secret. Overconfident people are often quite insecure, and they cover up their insecurities through dominating and controlling others. They find it hard to admit being wrong, and they will often cling to a belief even in the face of evidence that it’s outdated or wrong.

    4. Learn tolerance. Most of us are quick to judge. Perhaps impatience is your personal weakness, and frustration and annoyance are frequent responses for you. Maybe you feel intimidated or pressured. Whatever is happening, overconfident people present a great opportunity to learn patience, to listen without judging. Aim to tolerate the person and learn to understand what motivates him or her. Think about how you’d respond in the same position.

    5. Improve your assertiveness. Over confident people can smell self-doubt miles away—and when they do, they likely will pounce. The best way to combat those who think they have all the answers is to improve on your own assertiveness. Aggressively overconfident people won’t waste their time on people they can’t push around or get a rise out of.

    6. Be tactful. So you have tried tolerance and improved your assertiveness. Now it’s time for a new weapon: tact. You can still point out things that are self-evident without calling out the person’s arrogance. You can still respond assertively to things that are incorrect—just do it with kindness and empathy.

    7. Change the subject. Another great tool for handling overconfident people is a simple pivot to a new topic. By changing the conversation, you can discontinue the overconfident person’s dominance. If they try to return to the old topic, politely point out that everyone has already made their views known, and return to yet another new topic.

    8. Keep your distance to avoid confrontation. If you’ve tried all the other techniques to no avail, you can still lessen the impact of an arrogant overconfident person. Keep your distance to you can keep your sanity. Simply do your best to stay out of their way. It’ll buy you time to work out how to better respond, or if nothing else it will minimize their annoying presence.

    Lead from within: Overconfident people are arrogant people who simply too insecure to face their own reality. As Charles Bukowski so brilliantly stated, the problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence.

     


    N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R

    The Leadership Gap

    What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post How to Handle Annoying Overconfident People In Your Life appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 09:51:16 on 2018/01/30 Permalink
    Tags: , Burnt Out Leadership, , , , , , Workplace   

    7 Important Reasons Leaders Crash and Burn 

    Whether you’re in a formal leadership role or not, if people are relying on you and you are responsible for their success, you’re serving as a leader—and that means experiencing all the highs and lows of leadership.

    Generally, leaders want to do their best and maintain high standards of excellence. They push themselves for the benefit of their team and put their own interests at the bottom of the list.

    Those attitudes are part of what makes people leaders, but it also puts them at higher than average risk of burnout. Here are seven serious ways leaders set themselves up to crash and burn:

    1. Focusing on being liked. A need to be liked makes leadership a struggle. The best leaders understand that being liked is a side effect, not a goal. If they’re invested in their people and in helping them learn and grow in an atmosphere of respect and equality—as any leader should be—they will be liked. Leaders who focus on being liked, on the other hand, are constantly changing direction in hopes of earning someone’s approval. In the end, they’re not effective as leaders—and they’re actually liked less than those who have their priorities in order. Leadership is not about being liked; it’s about getting the job done while empowering those around you.

    2. Taking on too much without delegating. If you think you’re the only one who can get the job done right, you are doing a disservice to your own leadership—and to all the people who were hired to support you in your work. When you take on too much without delegating you’ll end up feeling perpetually behind with no chance of catching up, and few situations are more exhausting. Part of your role as a leader is helping your team take on more authority to build their own leadership skills. If you don’t delegate, you’re failing your team and yourself.

    3. Deviating from what’s important. If you’re the type of leader who says yes to everything, you’ll end up overloaded and unfocused. Learn instead to say yes only to the things that are important to your mission. Leadership is about getting things done and achieving results, so keep your focus on the things that directly or indirectly contribute to results and learn to say no to the rest.

    4. Relying on consensus. Leaders have to be able to make decisions independently and trust their own judgment. If you find yourself often waiting for people to agree with you or second-guessing yourself, you’re adding to your stress and detracting from your leadership. Building a great team involves collaboration—one of the key elements associated with creating a dynamic corporate culture. But consensus decision making isn’t appropriate or feasible in many situations, and that’s where leadership steps up.

    5. Getting caught up in your own importance. Even good leaders can get caught up in their own hype—which actually means they’re caught up in their own ego. When you lead from your ego you undermine your effectiveness as a leader. Stoking your own ego will never earn you anyone’s respect, and leadership should never be about pushing your own agenda, status and gratification ahead of others affected by your actions.

    6. Failing to build trust. Earning and building trust are at the heart of leadership. If you fail to cultivate trust as a leader, communication and team effectiveness immediately suffer—and it’s hard to make up losses in those areas. Learn the problems that a lack of trust can cause in your team, and remember that resolving trust issues starts and ends with you.

    7. Tending to fix instead of navigate. If you find yourself constantly trying to fix whatever problem is in front of you instead of navigating long-term solutions, you’re going to keep spinning your wheels. Great leaders avoid burnout by empowering others to look for solutions while the leader navigates the way with them.

    In short, if you want to avoid crashing and burning, you need to reach beyond managing your role. You have to learn to manage yourself.

    Lead from within: Working hard for something you don’t care about is called stress; working hard for something you love is called passion.


    N A T I O N A L  B E S T S E L L E R

    The Leadership Gap
    What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post 7 Important Reasons Leaders Crash and Burn appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 09:48:17 on 2018/01/23 Permalink
    Tags: , Feedback, , , , , Workplace   

    The Power of Feedback: How To Make Feedback Constructive 

    Criticism is rarely easy for anyone to hear, but the manner in which it’s provided can make a huge difference in how feedback is received and how useful it can be in helping the recipient grow.

    The way most organizations handle feedback is terrible. Bosses save everything up till the dreaded performance review rolls around. Piling up a year’s worth of feedback in one day is grueling and stressful for everyone involved. Instead of being an opportunity for growth, it’s treated as something awful to get through.

    I believe there is a problem—not only with the whole performance review process but with how we communicate feedback. We have institutionalized the art of letting people know how they’re doing, often with a process that does more harm than good. But we dutifully follow the system that’s handed to us, even though it’s unsettling for everyone involved.

    Feedback can be invaluable when it’s offered in the right way with the right intentions. Knowing the how and when is a skill, and like any other skill it takes practice to get it right.

    Here is the process I teach to top leaders around the world. It’s effective, constructive, and geared toward employees’ overall growth and development.

    Make sure there’s a reason. For feedback to be effective, it must have a purpose. You may be analyzing a recent problem to prevent it from recurring, or the employee’s role may be involved in an area that’s been targeted for expansion. Effective feedback requires credibility, and that credibility is absent if only context is “It’s review time and I have to list something under ‘Areas for Improvement.’”

    It has to be given at right time and at for right duration. Appropriate timing is important. When an event triggers a need for feedback, provide it as quickly as possible (but not in the heat of the moment). Timely feedback allows you to address issues more effectively, and it doesn’t leave employees feeling blindsided.

    It has to be done routinely and regularly. Examining events and looking for highs and lows, and especially for places where changes would be beneficial, should be a regular part of your leadership, whether it’s daily, weekly, or monthly. When feedback becomes part of that process, it doesn’t make recipients feel singled out or like a scapegoat.

    Keep it simple and specific. To be effective, feedback must be clear. Stay on track and stick to the issue at hand. Avoid phrases like you never or you always—discuss the impact of specific behavior without blame or personal criticism.

    Make it interactive. Feedback works best when it’s treated not as a one-way street but an interactive session for problem solving. Ask for input and ideas to help clarify it’s about progress, not punishment.

    Use “I” statements. The best feedback comes from your personal perspective. You can avoid labeling, blaming and accusing by making sure your sentences start with “I”: I thought, I sense,, and by expressing yourself with concern and care,

    Know when to go private. It’s a wise principle that’s easy to forget: give recognition in public and criticism in private. Create a safe environment, away from hearing ears, and speak in a way that no one can overhear or disrupt the conversation. Privacy is important.

    Stay focused. A good feedback discussion is about one issue, not piling on every large and small grievance at once. If you expand the scope of the feedback to include objectives and criticisms, you risk having an employee who feels attacked and demoralized—and who wouldn’t? Stick to the specific behavior that the employee needs to change.

    For every negative, give two positives. A good rule to follow is to start off with something positive. This helps put the person in the right frame of mind to receive information. It’s also good to end the discussion with something positive so they don’t leave discouraged and dispirited.

    Follow up for progress. The whole purpose of feedback is for improvement. Feedback needs to be carried out in a constant loop in which everyone thinks about what they’ve done and what they could do better, as they work to grow and develop—and that requires measuring accomplishments. Discuss what is and isn’t working and work together on anything that needs to be amended.

    If feedback is positive and constructive, positive outcomes will be the result; if it is grounded in negativity, a lack of engagement and failure will follow.

    LEAD FROM WITHIN: Feedback is effective when it’s a two-way street. You need to know how to give it effectively and receive it constructively.

     


    N A T I O N A L    B E S T S E L L E R

    The Leadership Gap

    What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post The Power of Feedback: How To Make Feedback Constructive appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 10:00:06 on 2018/01/09 Permalink
    Tags: Awareness, , , , , , , , , Workplace   

    All Successful Leaders Need This Quality to be Effective 

    If you’ve recently been promoted or somehow flagged as a leader, you might be feeling pretty good about yourself, as if you know it all. But the quality that really helps successful leaders be effective is awareness —and until you develop your capacity for awareness, none of your knowledge will do you much good.

    When you’re in a leadership position, sometimes those around you will shield you from reality. They may not want to tell you about a problem because they are afraid of being blamed. They won’t tell you something isn’t working because they feel intimidated about second-guessing you. They may protect you from unpleasant truths out of misplaced loyalty or because they don’t want to deal with your response. Instead of telling you what you need to know, they may complain behind your back, remain quiet rather than disagree with you, or maybe just leave altogether to avoid confrontation.

    You may be sailing through your day thinking everything is fine, but if the things you need to know aren’t getting to you, you have a problem. Here are seven questions based on the traits of highly aware leaders—use them to assess and build your own capability for awareness.

    Do you lead with questions? Are the kind of leader who is inquisitive? Do you ask a lot of questions, or are you assuming you know it all? Leaders who pride themselves on being aware are consistently asking questions.

    Are you open to constructive feedback? For some, feedback always feels like criticism, but constructive feedback is actually a great gift. When you can be open to feedback you become more aware, a better leader and a better person.

    Do you create a safe environment? If you want to hear constructive feedback, you must create a safe culture, a safe environment where people can speak their mind and heart. If people don’t feel safe speaking out, you end up with a culture where people either complain behind your back or walk away, so they don’t have to deal with you. Either way, an unsafe environment leads to a toxic culture. Even if your culture normalizes this climate, that doesn’t make it right.

    Are you open to learning new things? The best leaders understand how much they don’t know, and they treat learning as a big part of leadership. They never stop discovering, learning and wondering about new ways of doing things.

    Do you assume everyone agrees with you? Aware leaders remain open to disagreements and conflict. They expect others to speak up and state their mind, and they model the idea that differences are meant not to divide but to enrich.

    Are you too distracted to be informed? I have seen many leaders who simply have too much going on—whose enormous responsibilities leave them too distracted to know what they’re doing and how they’re being perceived. But an anxious and distressed leader makes for an uneasy and agitated team. Don’t allow distractions to keep you from being informed.

    Are you surrounding yourself with people who are smarter than you? Some leaders will think they have to be the smartest person in the room, so they surround themselves with mediocrity. But mediocrity will never yield excellence. The best and smartest leaders surround themselves with people who are smarter and who can disagree with them, and they learn from those people.

    Aware leaders have the capacity to stand apart from themselves and examine their thinking and actions. In turn, they receive the insight to lead not only themselves but also others to greatness.

    Lead from within: Awareness is one of the rarest of human commodities. It is the difference between limiting yourself and evaluating yourself—not only as a leader but as a person.


    N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R

    The Leadership Gap
    What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post All Successful Leaders Need This Quality to be Effective appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 11:39:17 on 2017/11/14 Permalink
    Tags: Comunication, , , , , , Workplace   

    The 4 Powerful Conversations that Will Improve Your Leadership 

    Everyone I know in leadership has more to do then they have hours in the day. But even with the top leaders I coach, there’s a common mistake they make when they’re pressed for time—most are concentrating on tasks instead of leading. It’s understandable that when you have too much to do, you do what comes easily, but that impulse doesn’t lend itself to great leadership.

    People go into leadership because they are visionaries and motivators, and they should be creating leaders among their team members instead of putting out fires and staring at spreadsheets all day.

    To implement your vision and direction, you have to do the work of leadership. That means, above all, creating strong relationships with your teams so they can work productively and effectively even in your absence.

    Too often, though, leaders get stuck in the weeds, doing daily tasks, being a manager instead of a leader.

    So how can you make sure you’re actually leading? By having these four powerful conversations every month:

    Conversation #1—Check in on the weather. Spend a few moments with every team member learning their thoughts on the organizational culture and their day-to-day work life. Make sure you know if there is the forecast looks clear or if storms are brewing. A monthly check-in keeps the channels of communication open so there are no surprises or last-minute course corrections at the end of the year.

    Conversation #2—Identify greatness and gaps in those you value. We all have strengths, areas in which we excel and talents. But we also have gaps—the habits of mind that get in the way of our greatness (as you may have read about in my new book, The Leadership Gap). To be effective, we need to know and embrace our best talents and inner strengths, and we also need to know the gaps that may keep us stuck and playing small. As a leader, you should constantly be aware of your team members’ strengths and nurture their talent, but also understand their gaps and help them learn to leverage their unproductive thinking into something positive.

    Conversation #3—Ask about development and improvement. Most people are eager for opportunities to improve and develop new skills. Too often, though, leaders don’t expend the time or effort to find out ways to help their people grow—not because they don’t want to, but because they’re too busy. But making time for people to learn and grow is as important as anything else you could be doing. Aside from the benefits to your team, it shows that you consider them a worthy investment. Making time for the development of your people is the essence of leadership.

    #Conversation #4—Generate a game plan for success. We’ve all heard the quote “Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.” And the way to show you care is not with words but action. Work with each member of your team to generate a game plan for success. Give them the benefit of your experience in helping them identify and reach their goals, and they in turn will give you the best they have to offer.

    Don’t be one of those leaders who feel they don’t have time to hold regular meetings, who say they’re too busy to have these conversations. And don’t try lumping everything in together so you can feel you’ve done your duty. This system works if you maintain one single conversational theme at a time. The idea is to keep the channels of communication open, to keep the dialogue moving, to learn what makes your team more effective and productive.

    Lead from within: At the end of the day, when it comes to leadership if you don’t have the time to do right, when will you have the time to do it over?


    National Bestselling Book:
    The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post The 4 Powerful Conversations that Will Improve Your Leadership appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
c
compose new post
j
next post/next comment
k
previous post/previous comment
r
reply
e
edit
o
show/hide comments
t
go to top
l
go to login
h
show/hide help
esc
cancel