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  • feedwordpress 08:00:55 on 2018/08/23 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , , , relationships, ,   

    7 Things the Most Respected Leaders Do Every Day 

    Everyone wants to be respected and admired, but often we are afraid of being perceived as too aggressive or overly confident in our pursuit of own greatness.

    While you can’t control other people’s opinions, you can always control your own actions. Respect takes time and effort—it’s not something you’re given but something you earn. Here are six top ways that the best leaders earn respect every day:

    They first give respect. Respected leaders know you must show respect before you can earn respect. They treat everyone with courtesy and kindness; even when criticizing or giving feedback, they’re always considerate and compassionate. As the saying goes, people will forget what you said and they’ll forget what you did, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel.

    They keep their promises. If they tell you they’re going to do something, you know you can count on them to get it done. For a leader to become known as a person who can’t be trusted is one of the quickest ways to engineer a loss of respect. The best leaders are always aware that people are counting on them, and they do everything they can to deliver on their promises and earn the respect of their people.

    They listen before speaking.
    The best leaders are typically the best listeners. Taking the time to listen instead of rushing in with an opinion shows that they’re confident in their leadership. It’s the insecure leaders who always have to speak first and signal that their thoughts are most important. Even in disagreement, everyone deserves to be heard—and a a true leader knows how to use listening, and silence, to their advantage.

    They ask for help. Most people see asking for help is a sign of weakness, but respected leaders are secure enough to admit they need help and view asking as a sign of strength. I always tell my clients that vulnerable is the new strong. It’s a smart leader who asks for help to learn and grow.

    They admit when they’re wrong. Most of us find it hard to admit when we’re wrong, but a respected leader is quick to say, “I messed up” or “I made a mistake” or “I was wrong.” It’s only the narcissistic, self-centered, egotistic leaders who they think they’re always right even when they are wrong—an attitude that costs them in respect.

    They serve others. Respected leaders know that nothing great can ever be accomplished alone. At its core, leadership is about serving others and inspiring them to bring out their own greatness. Great leaders inspire others by empowering and serving them.

    They appreciate others. The most respected leaders genuinely care about others and show admiration. These powerful traits show that they can see beyond themselves and have the emotional intelligence to celebrate others and boost the confidence and self-esteem of everyone around them. Leaders with a reputation for caring are among the most highly respected people anywhere.

    Lead from within: The well-respected leader knows respect is hard to attain but easy to lose.


     

    N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R
    The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

    The post 7 Things the Most Respected Leaders Do Every Day appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 01:40:43 on 2018/06/11 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , , relationships, ,   

    7 Warning Signs You’re In a Failing Relationship 


    Relationships are at the core of the most important things we do, not only as leaders but also as humans.

    Relationships are how we form partnerships and families and organizations and communities.

    All relationships–personal and professional–experience ups and downs. There are great times when you can almost read each other’s minds, followed by challenging periods when you seem to be miles apart. These variations happen even in healthy relationships too. But if things seem to be more down than up when you look at an important relationship in your life–whether it’s a colleague or a friend, a key employee or a business partner–you may start to wonder if something more serious is going on.

    Here are some symptoms that should cause you concern, together with the preventive measures that can help you keep your relationships healthy:

    1. Resentment. Resentment grows when someone feels unheard or dismissed. Left unchecked, it leads to bitterness and a smoldering anger that scorches everything around it. Communication goes from difficult to impossible and negativity is overwhelming. The best prevention is a combination of equity and communication. Make sure everything, from cash to household or office responsibilities, is handled fairly, and if there’s something on your mind or you’re feeling frustrated by a situation, talk about it.

    2. Disrespect. Mutual respect is a cornerstone of all successful relationships. If you’re sensing disrespect, whether you’re giving it or receiving, you have a fundamental problem. It’s sometimes a case of never having learned how to disagree respectfully, and at other times a more serious or personal issue.

    3. Dishonesty. An occasional lie is forgivable–and, depending on your moral outlook and the situation, sometimes even appropriate–but lies about serious matters, or a daily barrage of deception, are seriously harmful. Often a key to the source lies in asking yourselves what function the lies are playing. Is it to give an illusion of competence in some area, or to prop up a failing sense of self-respect? Once you understand why, you can find more positive ways to achieve the same end.

    4. Mistrust. A single betrayal–or an act perceived as a betrayal–can wipe out a lifetime of trust. If trust is absent, again, ask why? Is it warranted, or is it coming from something unresolved in in a past relationship? If there has been a breach, is it too serious to be mended?

    5. Distancing. If one or both partners is consistently tuning out, seeking distractions, and making a conscious effort to avoid making a connection, it may be that the bond between you has already been severed. People check out for all kinds of reasons–some temporary, others permanent.

    6. Defensiveness. It’s not unusual to respond defensively when you’re challenged. Over time, defensiveness shifts into the “whatever” stage, which throws up a protective isolating barrier. Wherever the need for this protective stance originates, it prevents open communication and a meaningful relationship.

    7. Contempt. The most serious possible sign; once a relationship is at this point, the odds of survival are low. It’s often a way of turning one’s own despised and unwanted feelings outward, so left alone it may recur in later relationships as well.

    Think about the relationships that are important in your life and work, and ask yourself if they have any of these qualities. If so, you need to take action. It may mean a new focus on growing together in healthier ways, or more structured communication, or a change in the ground rules. You may need the assistance of a counselor to make things right–and you may end up needing to walk away. But with the right intervention and a commitment to success from both parties, you can end up with a newly strengthened partnership.

     


    N A T I O N A L    B E S T S E L L E R

    THE LEADERSHIP GAP

    What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post 7 Warning Signs You’re In a Failing Relationship appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 03:25:48 on 2018/06/10 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , , relationships, ,   

    11 Ways to Strengthen the Relationships That Will Lead You to Success 

    Our leadership may come from within, but its foundation lies in relationships.

    Every successful leader knows that relationships are the lifeblood of success.

    For a business to take off, for a venture to proceed, for an initiative to take strength takes partnership, support, friendship, collegiality.

    The most significant things we achieve are generally done in relationship with others.

    Here are 11 ways to bring the right significance to the relationships you are working to build or maintain:

    1. Make time. Cultivating deeper, stronger relationships takes time and effort. That means setting time aside to spend with those who are important to you. It means discovering their strengths and gifts and perspectives and accepting their imperfections. Think of relationships as investments that become more valuable over time.

    2. Call people by name. As Dale Carnegie used to say, a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language. If you want to cultivate deeper, stronger relationships, you must remember people’s names correctly. No matter how bad your memory is, it’s possible to train yourself. And people will assume they’re important to you if you just remember them by name.

    3. Start the conversation. Don’t wait for someone else to speak first, and don’t sit with your face buried in your phone. The best way to learn about others is by striking up a conversation. Ask genuine questions and then focus in and listen on the answers.

    4. Be respectful and empathetic when you have to tell bad news. Keep your communications respectful and appropriate if you have to deliver bad news. Be direct but tactful, and communicate face-to-face in a private setting.

    5. Appreciate the value of diversity. Your leadership and your entire organization will be strengthened if you can open up to and truly accept people with different backgrounds, viewpoints, and beliefs. The more perspectives you have access to, the better your ability to do excellent work–no matter what you do.

    6. Look for and build on other people’s strengths. Everyone has something to contribute–and the better you know the people around you, the better you can leverage their strengths by delegating the right task to the right person. Give people assignments that let them excel and grow.

    7. Share the credit. As the old saying goes, there is no limit to the good you can do if you don’t care who gets the credit. Acknowledge those who assisted and those who collaborated, because the more credit you give away, the more will come back to you. The more you shine the light on others, the brighter everything looks.

    8. Lift others up. Everyone rises when you build a culture where people lift each other up. When you see someone having a tough go of it, be quick to offer words of encouragement and look for ways to help. When someone messes up, don’t put them down (or allow anyone else to) but help them make things right and learn from the experience.

    9. Ban gossip. It’s human nature to talk about others, but as the leader, you need to set the example. There is no value in gossip. Refuse to take part, and make your disapproval clear.

    10. Own your errors. Since everybody makes mistakes from time to time, you can empower those around you by letting them see how you respond when you get it wrong. Set an example by holding yourself accountable, fixing what can be fixed, and moving on.

    11. Build trust. The one ingredient that’s crucial to any relationship is trust. Trust is built on integrity, consistency, confidence, and concern. When people are treated with honesty, kindness, faithfulness, and gentleness–when they are in an environment of trust–they respond in kind. There’s no greater force you can create within an organization than a team with high levels of commitment and trust.

    At the end of the day, there is no relationship without communication; no leadership without respect; no team without trust; no venture without value; no business without respect. Make sure you keep what is important up close and personal.


    N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R

    THE LEADERSHIP GAP

    What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post 11 Ways to Strengthen the Relationships That Will Lead You to Success appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 00:36:42 on 2018/01/21 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , Likeable, , relationships   

    Quick Tip #74: How to be Likeable 

    Likeable people get far in business and in life. Studies suggest likeability traits outweigh intelligence. So, how can you become likeable?

     
  • feedwordpress 09:14:41 on 2017/04/25 Permalink
    Tags: , , Imposter Syndrome, , , , , , relationships, , ,   

    How the Imposter in You Can Derail Your Leadership 

    Lead From Within, Lolly Daskal, Imposter Syndrome

    How many times in your life have you wanted to achieve something significant but were stopped by an inner voice?

    How many times in your leadership have you wanted to move to the next level but heard something inside saying, “No, you’re not ready”?

    These voice—the one that tells you you’re not good enough, smart enough, capable enough, worthy enough, or ready for the next step—is the voice of the imposter within you. The imposter wants to hold you back and prevent you from doing the things you dream about. It’s sabotaging you in the guise of protecting you.

    The imposter’s voice is the voice of fear—fear of vulnerability, fear of shame—and it will work to keep you from trying new things or taking bold action. Here are five ways the imposter can derail your leadership:

    The imposter compares. Most of us spend too much time looking over our shoulder to see how successful, how accomplished, how smart someone else is and how we measure up. There will always be someone who appears to be smarter, better, faster, wiser, leaner than you are. It can be exhausting trying to keep up with everyone, and comparing yourself to others leads to nothing but frustration. Measure your accomplishments within yourself. Don’t look at others but ask yourself daily what you can do better tomorrow.

    The imposter wants to please everyone. When you feel insufficient it’s a short leap to wanting to always please everyone, even though you know it’s impossible. Trying to please all is a no-win situation; leadership is not about pleasing people but empowering them—and that means sometimes pushing them to the edge of their discomfort zone. If you’re trying to please everyone you are doing harm to your leadership.

    The imposter is an overachiever. When your to-do list that is longer than you can manage, you need to step back. Delegate to the gifted and talented people you’ve surrounded yourself with. When you do, you help keep your own workload manageable and you empower others to lead and grow.

    The imposter is a perfectionist. There are few things more unhealthy than an either-or system in which you’re either perfect or a failure. Perfection isn’t real, and the sooner a leader knows that the less they will feel like an imposter. Don’t reach for perfection but concentrate doing your best to the best of your ability in a way that shows people that what you do you take pride in. Remember that your actions send a message to those you lead.

    The imposter feels like a fraud. The saying “fake it till you make it” is certainly popular. But it can be a damaging message. Pretending to be something else while you’re trying to figure it out isn’t authentic or genuine. Don’t fight the imposter by pretending that you deserve your success—learn to believe it, and then let the rest fall into place.

    Lead from within. The imposter within you will try to sabotage you and play havoc with who you are and what you can accomplish. The only effective way to combat it is to take full charge of your capabilities and competence and lead with confidence, because greatness lies within you.
     
    Check out my new book:
    The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    PRE-ORDER FREE ASSESSMENT


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:


    Photo Credit:
    Getty Images

     

    The post How the Imposter in You Can Derail Your Leadership appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
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