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  • feedwordpress 09:04:56 on 2018/02/20 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , , Personal Development, Role Model,   

    How to Be The Best Role Model 

    Chances are, at some point you’ve worked with a leader whose example is still with you today. Maybe it was a leader who showed confidence when everyone else was frazzled, who stayed calm under intense pressure. Or a boss who deftly handled whiners and complainers, or a mentor whose patient guidance set you on the path you’re still following.

    Whatever their role, these are the people who know that who they are is as important as what they do. For them, setting a positive example is an integral element of leadership, a part of their life and work every day.

    So what kind of example are you setting? Whether you’re aware of it or not, your actions and attitudes are being watched. You’re setting an example, modeling acceptable behavior to others.

    How can you tell if you’re setting an example people can look up to? Here are some traits the best role models share:

    They lead with self-awareness. The best role models reflect honestly and productively on their own behavior and the impact they have on others. They consider the needs and feelings of others, they’re responsible for their actions and accountable for their mistakes, and, most important, they pay attention to how their words and actions affect others.

    They lead with positivity. Great role models know that no one can be cheerful all the time, but they look for opportunities in difficult situations and face challenges with resilience and energy. They inspire those around them with their positivity and optimism.

    They lead with empathy. Part of being a role model is tuning in to the feelings of those around you. It means meeting people where they are and relating to them with kindness, compassion, and understanding. At the heart, it’s as simple as acknowledging our shared humanity.

    They lead with humility. The best role models are humble enough to be honest when they’re not sure about something. They’re supportive when you need help, sincere when others are manipulative, and modest when others are showing off. Those who lead with humility are at their best when they’re encouraging others to succeed.

    They lead with integrity. Great role models enter every situation with their good character, morals, and principles firmly in place. They don’t preach; they don’t have to. They know their values and use them as the basis of their choices, and they have the decency to do the right thing even when it’s difficult.

    They lead with trust. Leaders with consistent character—the ones who “walk their talk”—develop an atmosphere of accountability and responsibility. And those elements form the foundations of trust. A commitment to building and earning trust is one of the most important elements of a great team.

    They lead with respect. Many people aspire to impressive titles in an effort to get others to respect them. But the best roles model understand that you earn respect through the way you treat others. They give respect, and in turn they receive it.

    They lead with honesty. People will naturally look up to you if they can count on you to tell the truth, however difficult or awkward it may be. This includes telling the truth about yourself, the mistakes you’ve made, and the places where your judgment has faltered. Your people will appreciate and emulate your transparency

    Whether you want to be or not, unless you live alone in a cave you’re probably somebody’s role model. That makes it important for each of us to remember that people learn more from what we do than what we say, more from what we are than what we teach.

    Lead from within. Whether you choose to be or not, you are a role model—so watch your words and be mindful of your actions, because people are looking at each other to be inspired.


    N A T I O N A L    B E S T S E L L E R

    THE LEADERSHIP GAP

    What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post How to Be The Best Role Model appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 09:07:58 on 2018/02/13 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , , Overconfident, Personal Development,   

    How to Handle Annoying Overconfident People In Your Life 

    We all encounter annoyingly overconfident people from time to time—the ones who come across as if they know everything. Sometimes it’s hard not to let them get under your skin.

    But there is an effective way how to handle overconfident people.

    My work as an executive leadership coach working brings me in contact with top people in all kinds of organizations and industries, so I see overconfident people all the time. Part of my role is to ground them in reality, and part of it is to teach them to deal with other overconfident people.

    First, though, let’s make a distinction clear between two different degrees, or types, of overconfident people. The first is the narcissist, who is not only overconfident but also has a sense of superiority and entitlement. For a detailed discussion of dealing with a narcissist, see my Inc. article How to Deal With a Narcissistic Leader

    But here we’re looking at a run-of-the-mill overconfident colleague, boss, or associate—the ones who get on your nerves on a daily basis. Here are some smart strategies for coping and thriving:

    1. Connect with your own inner security: The best way to deal with an overconfident person is to find your own inner sense of security. When you can find your own confidence, nothing an overconfident person can say or do will undermine you. They may be unable to relate to you and may even say obnoxious or cruel things, but you can always let it slide when you feel secure in yourself.

    2. Don’t let it get to you. This is easy to say but harder to accomplish. But if you can learn to ignore the overconfident, superior attitude and try to find ways to you can enjoy each other’s company, it may benefit you you both. Deep down, there’s probably something to this person that’s worth knowing or exploring, and maybe at the deepest level there may be a person who is good and kind, with something in their background that causes their overconfident behavior.

    3. Know their secret. Overconfident people are often quite insecure, and they cover up their insecurities through dominating and controlling others. They find it hard to admit being wrong, and they will often cling to a belief even in the face of evidence that it’s outdated or wrong.

    4. Learn tolerance. Most of us are quick to judge. Perhaps impatience is your personal weakness, and frustration and annoyance are frequent responses for you. Maybe you feel intimidated or pressured. Whatever is happening, overconfident people present a great opportunity to learn patience, to listen without judging. Aim to tolerate the person and learn to understand what motivates him or her. Think about how you’d respond in the same position.

    5. Improve your assertiveness. Over confident people can smell self-doubt miles away—and when they do, they likely will pounce. The best way to combat those who think they have all the answers is to improve on your own assertiveness. Aggressively overconfident people won’t waste their time on people they can’t push around or get a rise out of.

    6. Be tactful. So you have tried tolerance and improved your assertiveness. Now it’s time for a new weapon: tact. You can still point out things that are self-evident without calling out the person’s arrogance. You can still respond assertively to things that are incorrect—just do it with kindness and empathy.

    7. Change the subject. Another great tool for handling overconfident people is a simple pivot to a new topic. By changing the conversation, you can discontinue the overconfident person’s dominance. If they try to return to the old topic, politely point out that everyone has already made their views known, and return to yet another new topic.

    8. Keep your distance to avoid confrontation. If you’ve tried all the other techniques to no avail, you can still lessen the impact of an arrogant overconfident person. Keep your distance to you can keep your sanity. Simply do your best to stay out of their way. It’ll buy you time to work out how to better respond, or if nothing else it will minimize their annoying presence.

    Lead from within: Overconfident people are arrogant people who simply too insecure to face their own reality. As Charles Bukowski so brilliantly stated, the problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence.

     


    N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R

    The Leadership Gap

    What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post How to Handle Annoying Overconfident People In Your Life appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 10:00:36 on 2018/01/16 Permalink
    Tags: , , Isolation, , , , , Personal Development,   

    What Great Leaders Struggle With – But Are Scared to Admit 

    I recently gave a keynote to a room filled with hundreds of leaders from around the world. These were people with prestigious positions and reputations for excellence, and I was humbled and honored to be in their presence.

    After my keynote a crowd gathered at the back of the room, where I was signing my new book. Speaking with these accomplished leaders one on one, I began to notice a pattern. Many of them were using the content of my talk as a springboard to talk about their struggles—struggles they were scared to admit to others, especially their colleagues, their teammates, and their boards. The nature of their struggles fell into a few broad categories.

    1. They were grappling with loneliness and isolation. We think of business leaders as being surrounded by people all the time, but the old adage is true—it really is lonely at the top. In a recent study, 61 percent of C-suite leaders believed isolation hindered their performance. That’s a significant proportion of top executives who are suffering—and not performing at their peak. The sense of isolation is even more pronounced, and its effects more significant, during challenging times. Those who are dealing with loneliness and isolation need to know they aren’t alone. Finding ways to let people in may mean overcoming the myth that we need to do it alone, but it’s the best cure for loneliness and isolation.

    2. They were wrestling with self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy. From time to time we all feel inadequate. or suffer from self -doubt, but leaders tend to see it through the lens of their team and the others who are counting on them, and it leaves very little room for even questioning yourself. In an unfamiliar situation or one with no easy answers, even if they have the necessary skills to arrive at a solution, they may start to question and mistrust themselves. As I discuss in my latest book, The Leadership Gap, tapping into your capabilities and competencies can provide the confidence you need to overcome times of self-doubt.

    3. They were fearful of letting people down. Like the rest of us, most leaders ascribe to a set of rules and standards, and they hope people are pleased with the work they do. But if it’s done right, leadership involves risk and courageous decisions, and one of the hazards is that sometimes you let others down and have to face their disapproval. Especially when you’re trying to achieve something significant, it’s important to remember that you can’t always please others (or even yourself) and free yourself to make tough choices in light of the big-picture priorities and your goals for your team and organization.

    4. They were afraid of public failure. We may teach that failure is a component of eventual success—and it is—but it’s still something that everyone dreads. And when you fail as a leader, you fail big. Especially for a group of people who tend to have healthy egos, it can be rough. It may be easier said than done, but when you’ve wiped out is the time to get out of your own head and look objectively at failure as a learning experience.

    5. They were scrambling to get everything accomplished. We all tend to have a lot to do on any given day. That daily pressure is magnified for leaders, who have their own things to accomplish and have to make sure everyone on their team is performing well. It’s a big burden, and the only way through is to focus on what you need to accomplish as a leader, do it with excellence and make sure you are surrounded by the right people doing their right jobs in the right way.

    6. They were laboring over their weaknesses. Most people hate to admit they have weaknesses. My keynote took this as a topic, with the gist being that while most leaders are working to find their strengths, I’m a big believer in identifying your weaknesses and leveraging them. That same message is an important part of The Leadership Gap.

    7. They struggled with criticism. Leaders learn early on that everyone has an opinion about their actions and thoughts. All feedback is good, but it’s hard to listen to critical opinions, especially when they seem poorly thought through or mean spirited. As a leader, you need people to share information with you, and that means managing your emotions when you hear things seem unfair.

    8. They were wrestling with the best way to handle confrontation. Few of us enjoy confrontation, but it’s a necessary skill if you want to challenge those you lead. The reality of leadership is that there are times when you have disagreements where you have to stand up and challenge someone. Confrontation is where the skill of true leadership lies, because the best leaders learn how to question and tackle challenge with a humble and sincere approach.

    What I came to realize that day is that it doesn’t matter what position you have or whether you lead a team of one or a company of thousands. Struggle is a part of leadership, it brings lessons to be learned and opportunities to be shared. If you can find meaning in your struggle you will succeed as a leader.

    Lead From Within: When leaders can battle the struggles of the present they will learn to unlock the success in their future.

     


    N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R

    The Leadership Gap
    What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post What Great Leaders Struggle With – But Are Scared to Admit appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 10:00:06 on 2018/01/09 Permalink
    Tags: Awareness, , , , , , , Personal Development, ,   

    All Successful Leaders Need This Quality to be Effective 

    If you’ve recently been promoted or somehow flagged as a leader, you might be feeling pretty good about yourself, as if you know it all. But the quality that really helps successful leaders be effective is awareness —and until you develop your capacity for awareness, none of your knowledge will do you much good.

    When you’re in a leadership position, sometimes those around you will shield you from reality. They may not want to tell you about a problem because they are afraid of being blamed. They won’t tell you something isn’t working because they feel intimidated about second-guessing you. They may protect you from unpleasant truths out of misplaced loyalty or because they don’t want to deal with your response. Instead of telling you what you need to know, they may complain behind your back, remain quiet rather than disagree with you, or maybe just leave altogether to avoid confrontation.

    You may be sailing through your day thinking everything is fine, but if the things you need to know aren’t getting to you, you have a problem. Here are seven questions based on the traits of highly aware leaders—use them to assess and build your own capability for awareness.

    Do you lead with questions? Are the kind of leader who is inquisitive? Do you ask a lot of questions, or are you assuming you know it all? Leaders who pride themselves on being aware are consistently asking questions.

    Are you open to constructive feedback? For some, feedback always feels like criticism, but constructive feedback is actually a great gift. When you can be open to feedback you become more aware, a better leader and a better person.

    Do you create a safe environment? If you want to hear constructive feedback, you must create a safe culture, a safe environment where people can speak their mind and heart. If people don’t feel safe speaking out, you end up with a culture where people either complain behind your back or walk away, so they don’t have to deal with you. Either way, an unsafe environment leads to a toxic culture. Even if your culture normalizes this climate, that doesn’t make it right.

    Are you open to learning new things? The best leaders understand how much they don’t know, and they treat learning as a big part of leadership. They never stop discovering, learning and wondering about new ways of doing things.

    Do you assume everyone agrees with you? Aware leaders remain open to disagreements and conflict. They expect others to speak up and state their mind, and they model the idea that differences are meant not to divide but to enrich.

    Are you too distracted to be informed? I have seen many leaders who simply have too much going on—whose enormous responsibilities leave them too distracted to know what they’re doing and how they’re being perceived. But an anxious and distressed leader makes for an uneasy and agitated team. Don’t allow distractions to keep you from being informed.

    Are you surrounding yourself with people who are smarter than you? Some leaders will think they have to be the smartest person in the room, so they surround themselves with mediocrity. But mediocrity will never yield excellence. The best and smartest leaders surround themselves with people who are smarter and who can disagree with them, and they learn from those people.

    Aware leaders have the capacity to stand apart from themselves and examine their thinking and actions. In turn, they receive the insight to lead not only themselves but also others to greatness.

    Lead from within: Awareness is one of the rarest of human commodities. It is the difference between limiting yourself and evaluating yourself—not only as a leader but as a person.


    N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R

    The Leadership Gap
    What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post All Successful Leaders Need This Quality to be Effective appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 10:53:28 on 2017/10/24 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , Looking for Leadership, , Personal Development,   

    Stop Looking For Leadership! 

    Have you found yourself asking where are the leaders?

    Have you thought to yourself where has leadership gone?

    I can imagine you might want to know where you can look for leadership so you can find a great individual that you can follow and maybe even emulate.

    But I am going to tell you to stop looking for leaders.

    Because the individuals that are leaders, you don’t have to look for them, they are there and they will rise up, they will do so in the following ways:

    When everyone does what is good for them, it will be the leader who does the right thing. There is really only one sure fire method for identifying leaders – Do they have the character and integrity to do the right thing, for the right reason, at the right time. The answer to this test will be born out through their actions.

    When everyone else is worried about their reputation, it will be the leader who leads
    with character.
    Norman Schwarzkopf once said, “Leadership is a potent combination of
    strategy and character. But if you must be without one, be without the strategy.” I couldn’t agree more. It will not be the titles or position – they do not a leader make! Rather, leaders must possess the necessary character to inspire others to follow. because a leader who lacks character will not endure the test of time.

    When everyone else has self-doubt, it will be the leader who shows up with confidence: Most individuals suffer from having self-doubt, in their abilities and skills and therefore shy away from what they are capable of accomplishing, it’s the individual that projects confidence- they are the ones that standout because they can captures people’s attention with who they are.

    When everyone else is rigid, it will be the leader that is going to be flexible: if as an individual you lead in way that says, my way or the highway, that kind of leadership style has no place in the world of business or leadership today, but if you are flexible in your approach and you understand the necessity of being fluid, you have identified a leader.

    When everyone else is serving themselves, it will be the leader who is serving others. If an individual doesn’t understand the concept of “service above self” they will not engender themselves as being a leader. Any individual that has a servant heart, that things of what is good for others, that prides themselves as being a supporter and serving others, is a leader.

    When everyone else is preoccupied with taking the credit, it will be the leader that is leading by example: Leaders need no identification as they instinctively and inevitably make their presence known without much fanfare or taking

    When everyone else is distracted, it will be the leader who will be focused: Leaders who are not intentional and are not focused, will fail themselves and their team. Leaders who lack discipline will model the wrong behaviors and will inevitably spread themselves too thin. but when a leader can focus, and follow one course of action until they succeed, that is a leader.

    When everyone is blaming others,  it is the leader who takes responsibility: Real leaders are accountable. They don’t blame others, don’t claim credit for the success of their team, but always accept responsibility for failures that occur on their watch.

    If you find that your company, your organization, your team are looking for leadership and you want to fill it the gap, by appointing an individual to the position and you are hoping they perform- stop.

    The leaders you want are there, you just have to notice them, they are rising to top, they are leading by example, taking responsibility, staying focused, and are busy serving others.

    Lead from Within: Stop looking for leaders out there when you can easily find leadership from within.

     


    Still looking for leadership, you will find it in my National Bestseller book:
    The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post Stop Looking For Leadership! appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
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