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  • feedwordpress 09:14:41 on 2017/04/25 Permalink
    Tags: , , Imposter Syndrome, , , Life Skills, , , , , ,   

    How the Imposter in You Can Derail Your Leadership 

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    Lead From Within, Lolly Daskal, Imposter Syndrome

    How many times in your life have you wanted to achieve something significant but were stopped by an inner voice?

    How many times in your leadership have you wanted to move to the next level but heard something inside saying, “No, you’re not ready”?

    These voice—the one that tells you you’re not good enough, smart enough, capable enough, worthy enough, or ready for the next step—is the voice of the imposter within you. The imposter wants to hold you back and prevent you from doing the things you dream about. It’s sabotaging you in the guise of protecting you.

    The imposter’s voice is the voice of fear—fear of vulnerability, fear of shame—and it will work to keep you from trying new things or taking bold action. Here are five ways the imposter can derail your leadership:

    The imposter compares. Most of us spend too much time looking over our shoulder to see how successful, how accomplished, how smart someone else is and how we measure up. There will always be someone who appears to be smarter, better, faster, wiser, leaner than you are. It can be exhausting trying to keep up with everyone, and comparing yourself to others leads to nothing but frustration. Measure your accomplishments within yourself. Don’t look at others but ask yourself daily what you can do better tomorrow.

    The imposter wants to please everyone. When you feel insufficient it’s a short leap to wanting to always please everyone, even though you know it’s impossible. Trying to please all is a no-win situation; leadership is not about pleasing people but empowering them—and that means sometimes pushing them to the edge of their discomfort zone. If you’re trying to please everyone you are doing harm to your leadership.

    The imposter is an overachiever. When your to-do list that is longer than you can manage, you need to step back. Delegate to the gifted and talented people you’ve surrounded yourself with. When you do, you help keep your own workload manageable and you empower others to lead and grow.

    The imposter is a perfectionist. There are few things more unhealthy than an either-or system in which you’re either perfect or a failure. Perfection isn’t real, and the sooner a leader knows that the less they will feel like an imposter. Don’t reach for perfection but concentrate doing your best to the best of your ability in a way that shows people that what you do you take pride in. Remember that your actions send a message to those you lead.

    The imposter feels like a fraud. The saying “fake it till you make it” is certainly popular. But it can be a damaging message. Pretending to be something else while you’re trying to figure it out isn’t authentic or genuine. Don’t fight the imposter by pretending that you deserve your success—learn to believe it, and then let the rest fall into place.

    Lead from within. The imposter within you will try to sabotage you and play havoc with who you are and what you can accomplish. The only effective way to combat it is to take full charge of your capabilities and competence and lead with confidence, because greatness lies within you.
    Check out my new book:
    The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

    Photo Credit:
    Getty Images


    The post How the Imposter in You Can Derail Your Leadership appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

  • feedwordpress 12:41:07 on 2016/12/06 Permalink
    Tags: , , Humble Leaders, Humility, , , Life Skills, , , ,   

    The Best Leaders Are Humble Leaders 

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    screen-shot-2016-12-06-at-7-28-00-amWhen we think of great qualities of leaders, the first things that come to mind are traits like charisma, bravado and vision.

    You wouldn’t expect to see humility on that list—but you should.

    Research shows the effectiveness of humble leadership: Humble leaders have more influence, they attract better people, and they earn more confidence, respect and loyalty than those who rely upon ego and power.

    In my work as a coach, I emphasize not just the importance of humility but also the fact that it’s a skill.

    Here are some key skills of humble leaders. Look through and see which you already have and which you need to develop:

    They lead to serve. Humble leaders shift attention away from themselves and focus on the contributions and needs of those around them.

    They have reserves of inner strength. Being a humble leader isn’t a sign of meekness or powerlessness but of great inner strength. The best leaders are humble on the outside and confident on the inside.

    They admit to their mistakes. All leaders are human, which means they all make mistakes from time to time. When you are willing to share your own missteps and mistakes, it allows others to connect to you in a deeper way. Humility is a quality that lets others see your humanity.

    They seek input from others. The first step of turning to others for input is being vulnerable enough to admit that you need the help and insight of others—which is a sign of great character on its own.

    They know themselves. Humble leaders know who they are and behave in a way that’s consistent with that knowledge. They also recognize where there’s room for improvement.

    They are genuine. Humble leaders know the importance of being authentic. They are the same person in private, in public, and in personal life, in every situation and with every kind of people.

    They invite trust. Humble leaders know that trust—earning it, giving it and building it—is the foundation of great leadership.

    They treat others with respect. Humble leaders are consistent and disciplined in their treatment of others. They treat everyone with respect regardless of their position, role or title.

    They understand their limitations. Humble leaders have the confidence to recognize their own weaknesses. Rather than viewing their limits as a threat or a sign of frailty, they surround themselves with others who have complementary skills.

    They model the way. Humble leaders lead by example. Their leadership isn’t expressed as “because I’m the boss” authority but in every one of their actions and words.

    Lead From Within: There is always room to be a better person and leader. If you can cultivate humility as a skill, you will be strong when you are weak and brave when you are scared.

    Photo Credit: Getty Images





    The post The Best Leaders Are Humble Leaders appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

  • feedwordpress 11:51:01 on 2016/11/15 Permalink
    Tags: , , , Determination, Having Guts, , , Life Skills,   

    Your Leadership Requires You to Have Guts 

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    Leadership is hard. It means making difficult decisions, stepping out of your comfort zone, and standing on the edge of your greatness.

    Leadership requires that you have guts.

    There are many who have the title of leader. But the only ones who truly deserve the title are those who can weather the storms and stand in their struggles.

    Because true leadership requires great men and women to bring all the courage, boldness, toughness, determination and audacity they can summon.
    Here are some of the qualities of a gutsy leader. Cultivate them now to become everything you can be:

    The COURAGE to change direction when things are on the wrong track. When something isn’t working, you need a leader who has the courage to see the need for change and bring up the benefits of going in another direction. It’s the kind of courage that shows up when you most need to shake things up and get back on the path toward something great. You’ll never do anything worthwhile in this world without courage.

    The BOLDNESS to face reality when resources are strained. When money or another vital resource is dwindling, you need to be bold enough not to hide in the spreadsheets but to come out and share the hard truth. You can admit that things are not as they should be, but in a way that is unafraid and focused on solutions, with faith in your team’s ability to rally even at the last minute to turn things around. To be bold is to always be facing forward.

    The TOUGHNESS to be more stubborn than your difficulties. When you’re facing obstruction and obstacles, handicaps and complications, you need to be the leader who says “Times are tough but we are tougher.”

    The DETERMINATION to pursue new opportunities in the face of opposition. People don’t generally like change, so it’s up to the leader to push past the status quo and make things happen. It’s a job that takes tenacity and spirit. Some leaders succeed because they are destined, but most because they are determined.

     The AUDACITY to say no unapologetically. Some leaders want to say yes to everything—but when they do, they take away their ability to set priorities. Every great advance in leadership came from someone who found the nerve to simply say “no”—as a complete sentence, without any justification or explanation or apology. When you make judicious use of “no,” you set the priorities that allow you to say a bigger “yes” to the most compelling ideas and vision.

     If you’re serious about leadership, always remember that it has to come from deep inside. It takes courage, boldness, toughness, determination and audacity, as the saying goes: no guts, no glory.

    Lead From Within: Great leaders aren’t always the ones who win, but those with the most guts.

    Additional Reading:

    Photo Credit: Getty Images



    The post Your Leadership Requires You to Have Guts appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

  • feedwordpress 12:59:22 on 2016/09/06 Permalink
    Tags: , Critical Leaders, , , Lessons in Leadership, Life Skills, , ,   

    7 Effective Skills You Need to Survive the Critical Leader 

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    Screen Shot 2016-09-06 at 8.53.52 AMWe have all been there before: Working under a leader who is constantly criticizing, a boss who is quick to accuse and blame, a manager who is constantly disparaging the staff.

    It’s extremely hard to work with someone who’s always critical, finding fault and spooning out judgment. It creates a tense, untrusting environment and an adverse working culture.

    The first impulse is to walk away and move on to better things. But quitting isn’t always the best option—or an option at all.

    In those situations, there are still strategies you can employ to survive a critical leader.

    1. Decide that you won’t allow anyone to treat you in a way you wouldn’t treat yourself, or others. You don’t have to endure being humiliated, belittled, or otherwise emotionally abused. Recognize such behavior for what it is and make a commitment to yourself that you will not allow it.

    2. Draw a line. All healthy relationships have boundaries, but abusers are experts at crossing those lines. When you feel that someone has overstepped your boundaries, stand up for yourself boldly but respectfully. The moment you are uncomfortable is the moment to say something. It may be as simple as “I need to go now.” Don’t let things get out of hand, because that is how you set a precedent for acceptance and turn a one-time event into a chronic challenge.

    3. Propose a better plan. Trying to make sense of crazy will drive you insane. Instead have a plan for action that changes the circumstances. Alone or with others, you can schedule a time to sit down and let your leader know that your team needs a better form of communication. Try to work with them to develop a plan that treats accountability and responsibility as a two-way street.

    4. Remember that some people come into your life as blessings and others as lessons. Everything that happens to you, for good or for ill, carries a lesson. Even watching what others do wrong from a distance can teach you a lot. When you see and hear things you don’t like, look for the lessons you can learn from them.

    5. Let the things that irritate you about others lead you to a better understanding of yourself. You can also learn about yourself by watching those around you. Sometimes it’s the things we ourselves are guilty of that annoy us the most in others. And if you are in a position to lead or manage, ask yourself if your own behavior reflects how you’d like to see your team act.

    6. Be the change you want to see. You can’t control anyone else’s behavior, but you can always model what you’d like to see. Be mindful of how you react, respond, and reply, and make sure you don’t let yourself be influenced by the bad leadership you’re working under. Swim against the current with commitment and tenacity, and maybe your behavior will influence others.

    7. Respect yourself enough to walk away. If you have seriously given a bad situation every chance to improve—if you have done everything in your power to make it work, if you have talked, made a plan, became the change you want to see—there is one last thing you must decide.
    You may be past the point of trying to be honest and respectful with an emotional manipulator when everything you try to do is turned against you. If you’re doing yourself more harm than good, it’s time to respect yourself and walk away. There’s one kind of strength in surviving an emotionally abusive person, and another kind that comes from removing yourself from a toxic environment. The answer varies depending on the situation and how long you’ve been trying. Sometimes you have to ask yourself what will you allow to continue and what will you not.

    Lead from within: We must never make excuses for critical people, but we can learn to be better people in their presence.

    Additional Reading:

    For coaching, consulting, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact us.

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post 7 Effective Skills You Need to Survive the Critical Leader appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

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