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  • feedwordpress 08:00:17 on 2018/09/20 Permalink
    Tags: , , Imposter, , , ,   

    How to Stop Thinking Like an Imposter 

    The imposter syndrome is real and relevant.

    All of us at some point or another question our capabilities and competence. It’s easy to start down the path of wondering how you got hired or promoted over others and end up  waiting for people to discover how little you know or how lacking your skills are.

    It can happen to anyone—especially the smartest and most successful—but we live with our thoughts and have to be careful what we tell ourselves. And if you say too many self-effacing things out loud, you project a lack of confidence. Both the internal and external voices can do damage, and you need to shut them down.

    Here are the most common forms of imposter thinkingsee which are the most familiar to you and learn how to pivot your thinking.

    “I’m not as capable as they think I am.” This thinking is damaging not only to your self-esteem but also to your professional relationships. Think back to the last time someone in your workplace made a mistake or didn’t know an answer. Unless it’s a truly toxic environment, it’s unlikely that they were shamed and made to feel inferior for it. Trust your abilities, understand your limits and work to always know more.

    “I got this position because I was just in the right place at the right time. Someone else would do a better job.” Remind yourself how you got the job. If you were hired from outside, think about how hard you worked to prepare for the interview and how many people you beat out. If you were promoted, remember how hard you worked to earn it. Even if you were in the right place at the right time, don’t forget the unspoken part of that equation—you were there with the right preparation and the will to make it happen.

    “I don’t really like talking about it when I get a promotion or receive some kind of recognition.” Discomfort with being recognized for your accomplishments can stem from a sense of unworthiness—it’s not about the recognition but how you feel about yourself. Instead of dwelling on what you do and don’t deserve, focus on accepting what you have to offer and finding ways to use it productively.

    “I only got the assignment because everyone else was too busy.” Imposter syndrome can prevent you from seeing yourself as special in any way. You may be constantly telling yourself and others, “Oh, that was nothing. I’m sure anyone could have done it.” When this thinking strikes you, focus on doing your absolute best. Sure, lots of people can hit a baseball, but you’re the one who actually stepped up to the plate.

    “My success is nothing but luck.” If you attribute your accomplishments to luck, you may fear that you won’t be able to continue your success, which ties in to the idea that your achievements have nothing to do with your  competence or capabilities. Luck does play a role in every success story. If you’re reading this, for example, you’ve had access to education and technology—which puts you ahead of many people right out of the gate. Be grateful for your good fortune, but recognize too that what you’ve done with those gifts is equally important in your success.

    “It’s all my fault this didn’t turn out right.” Perfectionism and impostor syndrome often go hand in hand. The only cure for perfectionism is to remind yourself—as often as it takes—that perfection is a myth. If you’re human, you’re imperfect. Give yourself a break, acknowledge your imperfections, celebrate your wins and work on the things that you want to improve.

    “It’s all been a mistake.” The feeling that your success is in error is another way of discounting your own abilities and efforts. To help take ownership of your achievements, deconstruct them and think about all the learning and hard work that went into them. Those weren’t mistakes.

    Lead from within: The imposter within you has to start believing in yourself and stop thinking about what others are achieving if you want to succeed.

     


     

    N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R
    The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

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    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: iStock Photo

    The post How to Stop Thinking Like an Imposter appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 09:14:41 on 2017/04/25 Permalink
    Tags: , Imposter, Imposter Syndrome, , , , , , , , ,   

    How the Imposter in You Can Derail Your Leadership 

    Lead From Within, Lolly Daskal, Imposter Syndrome

    How many times in your life have you wanted to achieve something significant but were stopped by an inner voice?

    How many times in your leadership have you wanted to move to the next level but heard something inside saying, “No, you’re not ready”?

    These voice—the one that tells you you’re not good enough, smart enough, capable enough, worthy enough, or ready for the next step—is the voice of the imposter within you. The imposter wants to hold you back and prevent you from doing the things you dream about. It’s sabotaging you in the guise of protecting you.

    The imposter’s voice is the voice of fear—fear of vulnerability, fear of shame—and it will work to keep you from trying new things or taking bold action. Here are five ways the imposter can derail your leadership:

    The imposter compares. Most of us spend too much time looking over our shoulder to see how successful, how accomplished, how smart someone else is and how we measure up. There will always be someone who appears to be smarter, better, faster, wiser, leaner than you are. It can be exhausting trying to keep up with everyone, and comparing yourself to others leads to nothing but frustration. Measure your accomplishments within yourself. Don’t look at others but ask yourself daily what you can do better tomorrow.

    The imposter wants to please everyone. When you feel insufficient it’s a short leap to wanting to always please everyone, even though you know it’s impossible. Trying to please all is a no-win situation; leadership is not about pleasing people but empowering them—and that means sometimes pushing them to the edge of their discomfort zone. If you’re trying to please everyone you are doing harm to your leadership.

    The imposter is an overachiever. When your to-do list that is longer than you can manage, you need to step back. Delegate to the gifted and talented people you’ve surrounded yourself with. When you do, you help keep your own workload manageable and you empower others to lead and grow.

    The imposter is a perfectionist. There are few things more unhealthy than an either-or system in which you’re either perfect or a failure. Perfection isn’t real, and the sooner a leader knows that the less they will feel like an imposter. Don’t reach for perfection but concentrate doing your best to the best of your ability in a way that shows people that what you do you take pride in. Remember that your actions send a message to those you lead.

    The imposter feels like a fraud. The saying “fake it till you make it” is certainly popular. But it can be a damaging message. Pretending to be something else while you’re trying to figure it out isn’t authentic or genuine. Don’t fight the imposter by pretending that you deserve your success—learn to believe it, and then let the rest fall into place.

    Lead from within. The imposter within you will try to sabotage you and play havoc with who you are and what you can accomplish. The only effective way to combat it is to take full charge of your capabilities and competence and lead with confidence, because greatness lies within you.
     
    Check out my new book:
    The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    PRE-ORDER FREE ASSESSMENT


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:


    Photo Credit:
    Getty Images

     

    The post How the Imposter in You Can Derail Your Leadership appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
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