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  • feedwordpress 08:00:13 on 2019/03/14 Permalink
    Tags: , , Emotional Intelligence, , , , , , ,   

    How to Work with a Leader Who Lacks Emotional Intelligence 


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    Many experts believe that a person’s emotional intelligence quotient, or EQ, may be more important than IQ. The ability to perceive and manage emotions certainly seems to be a better predictor of success, quality of relationships, and overall happiness.

    Low emotional intelligence has demonstrated negative effects in the workplace; it lowers morale and reduces productivity.

    When leaders exhibit low EQ, the effects are especially pronounced. A study by Pearson and Porath of thousands of managers and employees found strong repercussions when a leader engages in negative behavior:

    • Two-thirds of employees said their performance declined
    • Four out of five employees lost work time worrying about an unpleasant incident
    • 63 percent wasted time trying to avoid the offender
    • More than 75 percent said their commitment to their employer had waned
    • 12 percent resigned due to the leader’s behavior

    Unfortunately, many leaders still lack emotional intelligence. But there are strategies that can help when you encounter a leader with low EQ. Here are five of the most fundamental ways to help improve the situation:

    Acknowledge them. Leaders have a lot on their plate; they are juggling more than one responsibility at a time. The best way to work with a busy leader who lacks emotional intelligence is to acknowledge their emotions and frustrations, to let them know you see their challenges and hardships. Let them learn how it feels to be acknowledged. In South Africa, when you greet someone you say “Ubuntu,” which translates as “I see you.” See your leader and their struggles.

    Serve them. Leaders serve others, so even if you feel they don’t need your help, it can be beneficial to let them be on the receiving end of service. Give respectful feedback without criticism. Help them understand the importance of emotional intelligence and the benefits of cultivating related skills, for the benefit of not only the leader but also the team and the entire organization.

    Calm them. A big component of emotional intelligence is the ability to manage emotions and triggers. If your leader has a low EQ, it may fall to you  to calm them down and model for them how emotionally intelligent people are able to regulate and control their emotions.

    Appreciate them. It’s hard for a leader not to notice when people on their team are appreciative and thoughtful. It not only makes them feel good but also sets the tone for the way people speak to each other and behave toward each other. Consideration, compassion and understanding are important elements to demonstrate.

    Lead them. Be the example you want to see in your team and your company. Watch your own emotions and your own triggers—be the person who understands how your emotions impact others and recognize the role you may have played in creating difficult circumstances. At the end of the day you become the leader who illustrating to others what it’s like embodies emotional intelligence.

    At the end of the day, the best way to help those who lack emotional intelligence is to lead by example in acknowledging them, serving them, calming them, and caring for them. Show them what is like to have EI within yourself and how they too can begin to embody those skills to benefit themselves and those around them.

    Emotional intelligence is essential in the workplace. Don’t tolerate a lack of it.

    Lead from Within: Whether you’re a leader now or may become one in the future, cultivating emotional intelligence will not only serve you but also help you outlast and outperform.

     


     

    N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R
    The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

    The post How to Work with a Leader Who Lacks Emotional Intelligence appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 09:00:36 on 2019/02/26 Permalink
    Tags: , Emotional Intelligence, , , , , ,   

    10 Ways Successful People Work with People They Don’t Like 


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    For productive and effective work, there’s nothing like collaboration with people you already like and respect—people you trust and know you can work well with. Eventually, though, it will likely fall upon you to work with someone you just don’t like. If you try to get out of it you only end up looking bad. That’s why learning to collaborate successfully with people you dislike is such a valuable skill.

    Here are some starting points—try them out on your nemesis in small-scale situations so you’ll be prepared when you’re assigned to a major project together.

    Start with acceptance. You don’t have to learn to like this person. All you have to do is get along and work well with them. Acknowledging that you clash with someone without judgment can help clear the strong emotions that often accompany challenging relationships.

    Examine your own behavior before you blame. In many cases, we form a dislike for people because they remind us of parts of ourselves we dislike. Do some reflecting, and if you find this is the case, acknowledge and deal with it. Remind yourself that being triggered by another person isn’t cause to mistrust or despise them.

    Manage your emotions. Dealing with someone who rubs you the wrong way can have a negative effect on your own emotions. A negative person or know-it-all can quickly wear you down—but only if you let them. Remember that you have power over your own emotions and that you don’t have to allow anyone else to influence your state of mind. Learn to manage your own emotions, because the only person you can change is yourself.

    Improve your communication. To be better at collaborating with anyone—but especially with people you dislike—work to improve your communication skills. That means having more dialogues than monologues, more listening than speaking and more understanding then conflict. Work on your own communication challenges and you may inspire your difficult collaborator to do the same.

    Keep your head down. If you cannot improve the situation, you have to learn to play it as well as you can. Forget about trying to have harmony and focus mainly on achieving the goals of the project.

    Rise above. Never stoop to the level of those you dislike; don’t let their dysfunction change who you are. You don’t have to respond to the drama. Instead, rise above the circumstances, respectfully, quietly and without fanfare.

    Keep it professional. Regardless of another person’s behavior, always take the high road. Avoid making it personal, because it will only cause destructive behaviors. Try to make the best of things by concentrating on the situation, not the person.

    Find common ground. There may be many things setting you apart, but if you work at it you can find something to come together over with just about anyone. Concentrate on what you have in common more than your differences and you may find yourself disliking the person less.

    Pick your battles. Not all things are worth your attention and focus. Sometimes dealing with a person you dislike can become so frustrating that you have to ask yourself, “Do they really deserve my time?” If not, don’t waste your precious resources on someone who doesn’t deserve your energy or attention. Be wise and choose your battles carefully.

    Cultivate a support system. Doing anything on your own can be difficult, so try to find people to support you. Trusted individuals can help you feel supported and less alone. They can bring objectivity to the situation and help brainstorm ways to deal with a difficult person.

    Lead from Within: Working with a colleague you dislike is never fun. However, it’s important that you never let interpersonal problems get in the way of your professionalism.

     


    N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R
    The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: iStock Photo

    The post 10 Ways Successful People Work with People They Don’t Like appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 20:33:45 on 2018/06/11 Permalink
    Tags: , , Emotional Intelligence, , , , ,   

    6 Emotional-Intelligence Job Skills Everyone Will Need in the Next Few Years 


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    Two-Thirds of Americans believe that in 50 years robots and computers will do much of the work humans do today. Already, many jobs that once seemed safe bets are at risk: office workers, administrative staff, manufacturing workers and even lawyers.

    Some studies predict that 5 million jobs will be lost to automation by 2020.

    So what skills can you acquire to protect your employability in the future?

    Surprisingly, they’re not related to a specific position or industry but are grounded in emotional intelligence. Here are some of the top skills that can never be automated or outsourced:

    Knowing yourself. If you’re aware of yourself and how you function in the world, you’re in touch with how you feel, and you know your strengths and weaknesses. You also know how your emotions and actions can affect the people around you. These attributes–and especially the ability to help others develop them–are important to anyone working with a successful (human) team.

    Building relationships. The more things become automated, the more we need connection and relationship. It’s the positive, caring voice you sometimes find at the end of a long phone routing menu, or the email from someone who’s gone out of their way to help you solve a problem. Human beings are naturally social creatures–we crave friendship and positive interactions just as we do food and water. So it makes sense that the skills involved in building and maintaining relationships are never going out of style.

    Active Listening. We tend to pay a great deal of attention to our ability to speak, but successful communication requires a speaker and a listener. When someone is speaking it is vitally important to be fully present and in the moment with them. Whether you agree with the speaker–whether you’re even remotely interested in what they’re saying–focus on their words, tone and body language and they’ll feel heard in a way no machine can duplicate.

    Expressing empathy. Empathy–the ability to understand and share the feelings of another–is a key element in building trust, which, in turn, is a key element of leadership. Having empathy will give you the ability to put yourself in someone else’s situation. It’s a trait that no automated feedback can generate.

    Giving feedback. Providing effective feedback in a useful format and context benefits for both the giver and the receiver. Leveraged properly, feedback can lead to real growth and development. And effective feedback will always require a person-to-person connection.

    Managing stress. The skill of being able to manage stress–our own and that of others–will never be obsolete. Stress impacts a team’s ability to do their jobs effectively, and it affects how we work with other people. We experience stress when we feel threatened or believe we lack the resources to deal with a challenging situation. Create a line of defenses against stressful situations that you cannot control–use your network, be sure to get enough exercise and sleep, and learn to relax.

    If you can manage these emotional intelligence skills you’ll be prepared for the future, no matter what position or title or job you have.

     


    N A T I O N A L    B E S T S E L L E R

    THE LEADERSHIP GAP

    What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post 6 Emotional-Intelligence Job Skills Everyone Will Need in the Next Few Years appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 17:49:12 on 2018/06/11 Permalink
    Tags: , , Emotional Intelligence, , , , ,   

    6 Proven Ways to Spot an Emotional Intelligent Leader 


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    Leadership is ultimately about holding yourself responsible for the people you lead–not just their productivity but their teamwork and imagination and commitment. And the more responsibility you have for others, the more important your emotional intelligence becomes.

    We’re learning more every day about the importance of emotional IQ, or EQ, across the board. Drs. Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves find a direct link between EQ and earnings and say that EQ accounts for up to 58 percent of performance in all types of jobs.

    Leadership, in particular, is a “people business,” and emotional intelligence is the missing link.

    So what how does one fill in the missing link? They must become leaders who lead with emotional intelligence.

    Here are six ways proven ways to spot and become an emotional intelligence leader:

    1. They have self- awareness. Emotionally intelligent leaders understand their own emotions and know how to manage them. They don’t speak out of frustration or anger; they control their emotions and wait to speak up until their feelings have settled and they have processed their thoughts. They don’t react in the heat of the moment but wait to respond.

    2. They respond to criticism and feedback. Every leader faces feedback, some of it negative. Emotionally intelligent leaders don’t become defensive or take it personally. They listen, process, and genuinely consider other points of view, and because they’re always looking to improve, they know how to accept sincere critiques.

    3. They know how to generate self-confidence. Emotionally intelligent leaders share a healthy dose of confidence but never cross the line into arrogance. When they don’t understand something, they ask open-ended questions that aim to gather information, not challenge or argue. They know how to give and take in a way that generates confidence.

    4. They know the importance of checking their ego.Leaders who have to demonstrate their own importance or value are not yet connected to true leadership or emotional intelligence. Those who are know how to speak and act out of concern of others. They don’t always have to be the center of attention, and they would never take credit for the work of others. Secure in their own abilities, they’re generous and gracious to others.

    5. They know how to embody empathy. Leaders with emotional intelligence can put themselves in others’ shoes. They listen with genuine interest and attention and make it a point to understand, then give back in a way that benefits themselves and others. They know how to create win-win situations.

    6. They know how to engage with empowerment. The best leaders–the ones with the highest EQs–make it their mission to believe in others and empower them to believe in themselves. Instead of focusing on themselves they know it’s the power of the people that makes leadership successful, so that’s where they focus their efforts.

    The more you can encourage emotionally intelligent leadership–in yourself and in others–the better you can advance your organization’s mission and thrive in all you do.

     


    N A T I O N A L    B E S T S E L L E R

    THE LEADERSHIP GAP

    What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post 6 Proven Ways to Spot an Emotional Intelligent Leader appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 10:44:06 on 2018/06/11 Permalink
    Tags: , , Emotional Intelligence, , , , ,   

    7 Warning Signs You Need to Develop Your Emotional Intelligence 


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    It’s not hard to understand the role of emotional intelligence when it comes to success: whether you’re born with an abundance or you have to work hard to develop a smaller share, it’s important to have at least a degree of it.

    Emotional intelligence is the skill of knowing why you feel the way you do and then choosing to feel different–it’s the critical factor if you want to be successful in your life and work.

    Those with high emotional intelligence find it easier to see their own weaknesses and empathize with others, while those with low emotional intelligence are more likely to be bitter and distant because of difficulties in relating to others.

    Failing to cultivate emotional intelligence can hold you back–not only in your career and leadership but also in your friendships and overall success.

    If any of these warning signs sound familiar to you, start today to develop your emotional intelligence. Wherever you are, it’s within reach if you’re willing to work.

    1. You often feel others aren’t getting your point. If you constantly find that people don’t connect with your communication, ask yourself what you may need to do differently. Emotional intelligence means being honest with yourself and working on the places where you fall short.

    2. You blame others for your problems. When you blame others, you give up your chance to grow. It’s easy to find a scapegoat for all your struggles or complications, but developing your emotional intelligence can help you understand that it’s much more productive to look for the cause of your issues in your own past. Blaming others often means you’re avoiding a difficult truth about yourself.

    3. You’re bad at reading people. In business, reading people–understanding what they are saying beyond their words–is a tremendously useful skill, and an inability to read people is a strong sign that your emotional intelligence is lacking. When you become more tuned in to your own emotions, you will become more proficient at reading others.

    4. You are often disappointed that people don’t understand you. When people don’t understand what you are saying, it may mean that your way of communicating is falling short or isn’t clear. Don’t expect to communicate only on your terms. Learn to communicate with your audience’s perspective in mind, not your own.

    5. You’re frequently surprised by what you learn about others. Part of developing emotional intelligence is learning to recognize the patterns of people’s thoughts, words, and behavior. Understanding those patterns–and the ways in which we break them from time to time–can help you develop the kind of insight that lets you predict how people are likely to respond.

    6. You lack empathy. People who are empathetic are able to understand how other people feel and how their own words and actions affect others. Someone with low emotional intelligence can unintentionally become a bully with jokes that feel insulting or mean-spirited to others. If you find it difficult to anticipate others’ needs, or if you sometimes find that people get angry with you and you don’t understand why, train yourself to pause before speaking to think about whom you’re talking to and how they might receive what you say.

    7. You have difficulty forming close relationships. Being the best person you can be means forming connections with people at emotional levels, not just superficially. And the best way to do that is through emotional intelligence.

    Emotional intelligence will lead you to success through better interactions with others, which comes from greater empathy and understanding, which in turn comes from knowing yourself and how to manage your own emotions.

    Emotional intelligence can help you realize that not everything is about you–which may sound obvious but can take many years to sink in if you’re used to placing yourself at the center of the universe.

    Emotional intelligence is about relationships, and relationships take two people who are willing to invest the hard work that comes with building a deeper connection.

     


    N A T I O N A L    B E S T S E L L E R

    THE LEADERSHIP GAP

    What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post 7 Warning Signs You Need to Develop Your Emotional Intelligence appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
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