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  • feedwordpress 08:00:02 on 2019/10/31 Permalink
    Tags: , , conflict, , , , , , , , ,   

    12 Phrases That Will Help You Resolve Any Conflict   


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    Conflicts are an inevitable part of any workplace and a constant source of stress for many leaders. Conflict resolution is an important skill for any leader to master.

    Like many other challenges, conflicts can actually present opportunities for positive change. Effective conflict resolution can build deeper relationships and foster more effective communication.

    One of the issues many leaders face in conflict resolution is simply knowing what to say. Here are some effective phrases that I have coached my clients to use in times of conflict. Try them out the next time you’re faced with a conflict:

    I sense that you’re feeling emotional about this topic. Is that right? Sometimes to break tension you need to label the emotion. Never ignore emotions, because they will only escalate. Labeling acknowledges what the person feels without judgment, helping them feel recognized and acknowledged and decreasing their tension.

    Let’s take a breather before we think this through. Sometimes the best thing to do is to take a break. The word breather is deliberate—giving pause to the situation and giving everyone involved a chance to take a few deep breaths.

    Thank you for your candor—I appreciate your feedback. Most people who tell the truth don’t receive appreciation. The best way to resolve conflict is to remain open to all feedback, because resolution requires that people tell it like it is.

    I recognize your efforts and hard work. Most people are appreciated only for results, not for the effort that they put in—especially if that effort was part of something unsuccessful. If you appreciate someone’s effort you are telling them they are valuable even if they haven’t succeeded. Helping people feel appreciated and valued can establish a positive connection and help open up common ground.

    Let’s work on this problem and fix it together. This phrase is important because instead of placing people on opposite sides of the conflict, you are signaling partnership. It shows that you care not just about resolving the current conflict but also about building and maintaining a spirit of collaboration.

    Tell me more—I want to understand. Most people speak to be heard, but few take the time to understand. This phrase is powerful because everyone wants to be understood. It doesn’t mean you have to agree, just that you are willing to hear them out.

    Let’s see what we can do to make sure it doesn’t happen again. When you express concern for the work without placing blame, you shift the discussion from a defensive back-and-forth to a prevention-focused exploration.

    What can we do to change the situation? The important word in this phrase is we—it’s not about what you can do or what you can tell them to do. Using we signals collaboration instead of hierarchy and problem-solving instead of finger-pointing.

    Yes, you’re completely right. If you are miles apart, find something you can agree on together so you can start the conversation with this phrase. When people feel heard and validated, they’re more likely to engage in a constructive dialogue.

    I wasn’t aware of this—tell me more. Stating your ignorance is sometimes a good place to begin defusing a situation. Stop talking and really listen; let the other person know that you are interested in what they are saying. Keep asking questions and listening empathetically until you get to the root of the conflict.

    I am with you on that. It can be hard to hear yourself being blamed, but your willingness to be held accountable can work wonders. If you let people know you are with them, you can not only resolve the current situation more readily but also avoid future confrontations.

    How can I support you? This phrase is one that every leader should use over and over and over again—in conflict, in dialogue, in conversation, in all communication. It eases stress, defuses conflicts and sets a positive tone for relationships.

    One of the biggest mistakes leaders can make is trying to avoid conflict. Dealt with the right way conflict can be a force for positive change. It opens the channel to better communication and stronger relationships.

    Lead from within: The bottom line is that conflict will always exist, but a satisfactory resolution and positive outcomes are within your power.

     


     

    #1  N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R

    The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

     

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

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    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

    The post 12 Phrases That Will Help You Resolve Any Conflict   appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 08:00:53 on 2019/08/13 Permalink
    Tags: , conflict, , , , , , , ,   

    How to Build a Team That Resolves Conflict Effectively 


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    Many leaders make the mistake of thinking they have to resolve every conflict—especially those that affect their team. But the best leaders know that is not the case, they learn to empower their employees by guiding them, giving them the resources they need and incentivizing them to work things out on their own.

    Here are six simple techniques to foster healthy conflict resolution within your office:

    Lead by example. It’s one thing to tell your team what they need to do, and another to hold yourself accountable for your own actions. However you’re personally dealing with conflict, those who report to you will likely follow your lead. To set a good example, pay attention to each person’s perspective, practice good listening skills, accept constructive feedback, and try to create an inclusive environment where differences are respected and honored.

    Coach your team. Every team has conflict—that’s just the norm—but it’s the leader who can coach their team through times of conflict who makes the biggest difference. The best leaders give their employees tools and techniques for mediation and conflict resolution.

    Establish ground rules. Every team needs to know the standards under which they will operate and collaborate. When you equip people with clear expectations and processes, they always know how to respond appropriately.

    Give regular feedback. An annual performance review isn’t nearly enough to prevent and resolve conflict. It is far more effective to have regular feedback sessions with your immediate team. These meetings can help cultivate an atmosphere of open and honest communication, and they present a good opportunity to deal with any misunderstandings or divisive issues before they get out of hand.

    Incentivize your employees. The best way to instill a new practice and keep it going is to provide incentives. They can take many forms—coaching, training, feedback, evaluations, or reward systems. Every leader needs to look at their team and organization and decide what works best for their culture.

    Celebrate successes. When team members successfully resolve internal conflicts, it should be celebrated and acknowledged. An appreciation of successful resolution will help build morale and encourage people to continue following core values and meeting high standards.

    Building a strong effective team that takes conflict in stride starts with leading by example and builds with good coaching, guidance and support.

    Lead from within: Conflict is inevitable. It is leading by example and coaching your team that you can best help them learn to resolve conflicts effectively and efficiently.

     


    #1  N A T I O N A L  B E S T S E L L E R

    The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness


    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

    The post How to Build a Team That Resolves Conflict Effectively appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 09:49:15 on 2016/11/30 Permalink
    Tags: , , challenges in the workplace, conflict, , Huemor, , , , perspective, , supporting multiple managers, working with multiple bosses,   

    Opposites Attract: 3 Benefits of Having 2 Bosses In The Workplace 


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    supporting-multiple-managers

    Having two bosses can sometimes feel like a good cop/bad cop situation if they’re not on the same page or if they employ different styles of leadership. That might be effective in accomplishing their goals, but it’s not always the best approach for keeping employees happy and productive. But having two founders at the top doesn’t always mean chaos or mixed messages. With the right dynamic, it can create a rich, creative environment for employees.

    It would be easy to let our founders speak for themselves about the dynamic of a partnership leading the way at Huemor, the UX agency we work at. They have clearly-defined roles (Mike handles new business, Jeff runs creative and production), they make decisions, hires, and investments together, and they’ve got a singular goal for the future of Huemor. All in all, they’re making it work and we keep growing. And most of our 16 person team has been around since almost the beginning (when Mike and Jeff were working out of a family member’s basement), new clients are constantly coming aboard, and projects are getting bigger and sexier.

    But that’s the easy way. The better way — the juicier way — is from our perspective as employees who report to Mike and Jeff. That’s where the good stuff is. In fact, sometimes it’s not unlike trying to get Dad to say yes to something Mom already said no to, like when whoever’s going on the beer run is angling to fill the fridge with a specific brew — Jeff likes Sam Adams and Brooklyn, Mike likes Blue Point and Shipyard; they’re both always willing to hand over their company card.

    Beyond employee happy hours, their partnership drives the way we work. So it makes sense to show you two benefits of that and, just to be transparent, one challenge.

    Two Bosses Can Bring Balance

    First, it’s nice to have two bosses because there’s a built-in safety net. Their roles balance the needs of the business, so even at our busiest times, we’re not letting anything slip through the cracks. Two sets of eyes are better than one when keeping watch and they’ve learned to support one another in a way that they can put their full focus into their halves of the business. It leads to better direction for employees, more thorough attention to detail in our work, and peace of mind for our clients.

    The Benefit of Multiple Perspectives

    Second, Mike and Jeff have fairly different personalities. Mike likes to say they’ve been married longer than Jeff and his wife have been, and there are times it shows. They don’t bicker, but they certainly bring different perspectives to the table, drawn both from their instincts and their experience. One of our mantras in the office (which literally hangs on the wall) is “Encourage dissenting opinions: discussion is good.” Different perspectives intersecting make our work more creative and more memorable so having two bosses who challenge us and each other works out surprisingly well.

    It’s Not All Sunshine and Rainbows

    If I made it sound like it was all glitter and cheer, I’d probably be lying. So I won’t. It’s worth mentioning that there are times they can drive one another crazy (frankly: not always a bad thing, from the perspective of an underling…). Jeff tends to be happiest when the office is focused and, ya know, getting stuff done. Mike’s never happier than when he’s riding around on a scooter distracting everyone and keeping things light. Deadlines are deadlines and they’re certainly a force to be respected, but sometimes a distraction is exactly what’s needed. Other times, when you’re in the zone, you don’t want to be derailed. Putting on headphones and ignoring the boss probably isn’t the best advice for everyone, but it’s ok around here. Like the best relationships, it’s a give-and-take between Mike and Jeff and between them and everyone else: they challenge us and we challenge them.

    As the holidays approach, we’re wrapping up our biggest year yet. Something must be going right.

    Author Bio: Pete Shelly is a digital strategist at Huemor. Follow Huemor on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn.

    The post Opposites Attract: 3 Benefits of Having 2 Bosses In The Workplace appeared first on Office Dynamics.

     
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