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  • feedwordpress 04:52:00 on 2018/06/16 Permalink
    Tags: , Career, , , Hate, , , , ,   

    How to Get Along with a Co-worker You Hate 

    Hate is a strong word. But sometimes you will likely have to work with people you have a hard time getting along with, and over time those feelings can grow into something strong enough to warrant the word.

    Maybe they’re untrustworthy, or lazy, or self-aggrandizing, or unaware of how their habits affect others. Maybe they just rub you the wrong way. Whatever the issue,  you may be feeling that the only way to make it better is to leave.

    But if leaving isn’t an option–or if you like your job and don’t want to give it up–there are things you can do to cope.

    Here are seven ways you can make life more bearable with a co-worker you despise:

    If you can’t change the situation, you have to learn to change yourself.

    If you can’t change the other person–and the odds are high that you can’t–what you can do is to change yourself. Work to adopt a different attitude and mindset. Remember that leadership begins from within, and by developing the resources to deal with your frustration, you’re building a valuable skill.

    To get a solution you must first reframe the problem.

    It’s easy to recall all the things you dislike about your coworker, but instead work to reframe them by focusing on their good qualities. As a coach, when I help people navigate conflicts, I always have each person state a few things that they appreciate about the other. If you can come from a positive side and find something, however small, to feel good about, you’ll be much better off.

    Let the things that irritate you lead to a better understanding of yourself.

    When you have a strong reaction to someone else, psychology says that it might be projection or envy. When you realize you’re totally irritated by something, take a moment to consider whether it might relate to something you dislike within yourself. What we hate in others is likely to be a reflection of our own worst qualities.

    Remember that whatever you resist will follow you.

    If you can’t find a way to work through what you’re feeling, chances are that you’ll have to face the same issue down the road. The lessons we encounter in life tend to be repeated until we manage to truly learn and internalize them. It’s human nature to resist these patterns–and the more important the issue, the more resistance we throw at it. But if you work through it now, you can save yourself a lot of trouble.

    Be radically honest no matter how much you want to hide the truth.

    Hating anyone burns up your emotional bandwidth and energy, keeping you from the things you need to do. Be honest and have a courageous conversation by being vulnerable about voicing your opinions. Much of the time, people are completely oblivious to how their behavior makes other people feel. Bringing their lousy behavior to their attention may open the door and change things for the better.

    Treat feedback as a gift that you are given in the present.

    When you confront someone, you also have to be prepared to listen to their side. Seek first to understand-pay attention to what is being said, taking in body language and tone as well as what’s spoken, then respond, don’t react.

    Focus on inclusion because segregation has never brought anyone but trouble. 

    When you really can’t stand someone, don’t think of segregating yourself from that person. Instead, find ways to include them in what you do. Find out more about the person, learn their story, and try to understand what drives them. You may find out you’ve been reading them all wrong.

    These things are not easy to do–trust me, I know. When people come to me as a coach and ask how to handle a person they hate, they want a quick fix, but quick fixes aren’t really fixes at all. If it’s going to get better, we have to work harder.

    In a perfect world, we’d get along perfectly in good relationships with all our co-workers. In reality, most of us spend at least some time working with someone we can’t stand– but there are always options to try and make things a little better.

     


     

    N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R
    The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post How to Get Along with a Co-worker You Hate appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 04:46:35 on 2018/06/16 Permalink
    Tags: , Career, , , , , ,   

    6 Impressive Ways to Lead Without the Title 

    No matter what position you have, leadership skills are valuable. Smart people know that to survive you have to lead, even if you don’t have the title (yet). The truth is, during the span of your career, you will not always have the title, but if you learn and acquire the following skills, they should give your leadership career the jump start it needs:

    Cultivate a great mindset.

    Having a good attitude is a great skill. If you can show enthusiasm and positivity no matter what your job is, people will notice. On any given day, many things can go wrong, but it’s the person who stays above the fray that is appreciated and respected.

    Consistently be supportive.

    When it comes to showcasing your inner leadership, teamwork is essential. if you insist on having your own way or controlling others, your career will run into a wall. The people who are supportive, adding value, always looking to serve others, those are the leaders who are indispensable. Always try to have the attitude of, “What can I do for you?”

    Learn to be flexible.

    If you want to stand out, make a great impression and work to become a person who is agile and flexible. It’s often the stubborn individuals who cost themselves advancement. If you want to succeed, be influential, but learn to be flexible.

    Let people know they can count on you.

    When people know you are accountable, it will give you credibility. When they know you stand by others, they respect you. Letting others know you trust them and showing them they can trust you back makes for a very impressive reputation.

    Be the creative one.

    In your current position, what process can be improved? What best practice can be tweaked? What can you do to make things easier for your customers or clients? Use your creativity to continuously improve processes, and you will always stand out.

    Give credit where credit is due.

    How many times have you seen your colleague or peers, or even your boss, taking the credit when the credit wasn’t theirs to be taken? The way to stand out is to stand together, to acknowledge others for their contribution, and give credit where credit is due. The way to be striking is to shine the light on others.

    If you start cultivating your leadership skills, moving up will be much easier. If you focus on being supportive, having a great attitude, being flexible and creative, and letting people know they can count on you, it will become much much easier for others to see you as a leader, no matter what your current position is.

     


     

    N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R
    The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post 6 Impressive Ways to Lead Without the Title appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 04:35:17 on 2018/06/16 Permalink
    Tags: , Career, , , , , , , , Yes   

    Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No 

    Most people hate saying no. Nobody likes the idea of disappointing others, but knowing when and how to say no is one of the most important skills you can cultivate. Done right, “no” can help you build better relationships and free you up to do the things that are important to you.

    Here are some ways to start building your ability to say that difficult word:

    Acknowledge that you can’t do everything.

    Trying to say yes to everything is likely to leave you trapped with no time or energy for yourself–and unable to give your best to any of your commitments. Start by selecting the things you genuinely want to say yes to–the things that build relationships with important people in your life, that align with your values, that bring you joy–and stop accepting responsibilities that don’t meet those criteria.

    Define your personal boundaries.

    Boundaries define the emotional and mental space between yourself and another person. Think of them as the gatekeepers of your personal space, and make sure that you’re clear about how much you’re able to take on. Setting boundaries, especially with people you care about, can be difficult and may make you feel guilty at first, but remember that caring for yourself helps assure that you have the energy to be there for others.

    Identify your priorities.

    To make good decisions about what to say no to, you need a clear idea of your own priorities. If you’ve left them undefined, sit down and spend some time thinking about what’s most important to you. Learning to prioritize effectively can help you become more efficient, save time, and decrease stress. Once you know what’s most important, it’s easier to decide where to focus your energy .

    Practice saying the words.

    Whether you’re declining an invitation to a party or turning down a new project at work, you can say no while still being friendly and respectful. Give yourself some ground rules and practice what you’ll say. Give a brief reason if you wish to, but don’t falter or back down. Be direct: “I’m sorry, but that’s not something I can take on now.”

    Never compromise on your integrity.

    Your integrity sets your standards and gives you a code of morality and ethics. Use it to guide you in saying no and you’ll always make consistent choices that are grounded in your beliefs.

    Know that you can’t please everyone.

    Trying to make everyone happy is a recipe for stress and frustration–and it’s literally impossible to do. You may fear that people will disrespect you or be disappointed if you say no, but most people won’t think any less of you. Remember too that in saying no you’re modeling good self-care to those around you.

    Here’s the bottom line: Knowing when to say no takes learning. Hone your skills so that you’re able to more easily recognize and deal with the situations where it’s your best response.

     


     

    N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R
    The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 04:32:13 on 2018/06/16 Permalink
    Tags: , Career, , , , , ,   

    6 Big Career Mistakes That Can Sabotage Your Future 

    If there’s one thing we all have in common, it’s that we all make mistakes–some because of inexperience, some because we don’t yet know what we know, and some, unfortunately, that we repeat again and again until we finally learn better. Mistakes are a natural part of learning, living, and leadership. But some mistakes can seriously sabotage your future. Here are a few to make sure you steer clear of:

    Mistake #1: Believing you have to know everything and do everything to be successful.

    To build a successful career, you definitely need to develop expertise in your field. But when you allow yourself to think you have to know everything and do everything, you’re setting yourself up to fail–plus you come across as a micromanager who doesn’t trust your team. Don’t sabotage your success by trying to know and do it all. Remember instead that the most successful people are those who are good at getting out of their people’s way and giving their team space to collaborate and get things done.

    Mistake #2: Thinking your leadership skills will develop naturally with time.

    You may be extremely competent in what you do, but if you don’t have any leadership coaching, mentoring, or guidance, don’t expect that whatever got you to your position will keep you there. If you’re in a leadership role, you need to be constantly honing your skills. As a leadership coach for top executives, I see this all the time–those who get promoted to prestige jobs don’t think they need any coaching. But leadership is a skill that requires constant nurturing and development. That may mean devoting some time each day to sharpening your skills, or taking a class, or hiring a coach to help you understand your strengths and weaknesses and build your confidence.

    Mistake #3: Falling prey to SOS (Shiny Object Syndrome).

    An ailment of distraction, Shiny Object Syndrome most commonly affects business people with an entrepreneurial mindset precisely because of the qualities that make them unique: They tend to be highly motivated, they crave new technology and new developments, and they aren’t afraid to start new projects and create new things. But if you’re constantly chasing after something, only to lose interest and start in on the next thing, you’re in danger of derailing your career. Once you reach a certain level, success isn’t about getting new opportunities but about getting the right opportunities. The more time you spend looking for something new, the less time you have to devote to becoming your best.

    Mistake #4: Putting your life on hold while you chase success.

    If you don’t have a life, you don’t have a career. Thinking that longer hours will make you more successful is a big mistake. It’s not the hours you put in but the quality of what happens in those hours that matters. I have seen talented individuals who work all day and all night, and they’re still not as effective as those who come in early and leave early so they can have time with their family, preserving their health and maintaining their balance. Science shows that you’re at your most effective when you take breaks, nourish your body, exercise, meditate–whatever feeds your body and spirit makes you better at work. Don’t run yourself ragged, neglecting your family, friends and health. You’ll end up with nothing.

    Mistake #5: Going after a title instead of preparing to fill a role.

    Those who are average go after titles instead of working to get the best results and become as effective as they can be. If you’re more concerned with titles and status than with substance, you could be sabotaging your success. Sometimes you have to take a step back to position yourself to take two steps forward. Focus on building the skills you’ll need for your next steps forward.

    Mistake #6: Burning bridges.

    This may be the biggest mistake of all. You never want to become that person of whom the HR person says, “Here’s a good example of how not to leave a job.” When you’re on your way out, it’s easy to get swept up in the excitement of wanting to tell everyone what you see as wrong and dysfunctional. But that short-term satisfaction can cost you in reputation. Most fields are a fairly small world, and there’s a good chance you’ll run into some of these people again. As the old saying goes, leave nothing behind but golden footprints.

    We all make mistakes. But be mindful of your mistakes, especially those that can harm your career. Pay attention to their patterns, and to what I call as a coach your leadership gaps. You can leverage them to your benefit, or you can let them damage your career and slow down your life’s work.

     


     

    N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R
    The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post 6 Big Career Mistakes That Can Sabotage Your Future appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 04:29:21 on 2018/06/16 Permalink
    Tags: , , Career, , , , ,   

    Want to Be Your Own Boss? Here’s What You Need to Know 

    If you have an entrepreneurial spirit, the odds are good that you long to be your own boss. It’s a sound aspiration, but there are few things you need to know going in. The key to doing well in the long term is to set yourself up for success right from the start, and these six principles can help you get there:

    Be determined. According to the US Small Business Administration, more than half of small business fail within the first five years. They fail for many reasons–most often not for a lack of desire, but because people shut down and leave when things go wrong. A determined person stays the course no matter what happens or what gets them down. Some people succeed because they are destined, but many more succeed because they are determined.

    Be disciplined. If you worked for someone else before working for yourself, you may have needed to be motivated and inspired by others. Now that you’re your own boss, you to learn to be a disciplined person with the right emotional state and mindset. Self-discipline is at the core of every successful person, the key to building a positive attitude toward time and personal management. Self-discipline is the most important quality you need to develop if you want to achieve success as your own boss.

    Become an expert. To become a boss you need experience, and becoming the expert in the company you are starting means that you need to be able to rely on your own knowledge and wisdom as you grow and run your business. Becoming an expert is making an investment in knowledge–the kind of investment that ends up paying the best interest.

    Be decisive. If you’re serious about being your own boss, you need to develop decisiveness. That means being specific and concise and timely when there’s a decision to be made. I believe it’s our decisions, not the condition of our lives, that determine how successful we will be. A true leader and great boss has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make tough decisions, and the insight to realize that they are a product not of their circumstances but of their decisions.

    Build your network. It’s all but impossible to build a business on your own. That’s why you need to connect with as many influencers you can within your industry and field. You never know where business will come from, so it’s important that you continually engage in networking and make the right connections to excel and succeed.

    Build financial security. Great ideas are important, but to make those ideas successful, you need to be financially secure. A solid nest egg makes a big difference between starting a business and staying in business. There are many ways to build your financial security–saving your own money, seeking out investors, or even getting a loan. A successful entrepreneurial boss needs a financial cushion they can rely on. If you’re not realistic about your financial needs, your business won’t have a realistic chance of succeeding.

    The best part of being your boss is that the more you put in the more you get out. It may not always to be easy, but your success is right there in your own hands. There’s no other feeling like it.

     


     

    N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R
    The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post Want to Be Your Own Boss? Here’s What You Need to Know appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
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