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  • feedwordpress 09:04:56 on 2018/02/20 Permalink
    Tags: Blog, , , , , , Role Model,   

    How to Be The Best Role Model 

    Chances are, at some point you’ve worked with a leader whose example is still with you today. Maybe it was a leader who showed confidence when everyone else was frazzled, who stayed calm under intense pressure. Or a boss who deftly handled whiners and complainers, or a mentor whose patient guidance set you on the path you’re still following.

    Whatever their role, these are the people who know that who they are is as important as what they do. For them, setting a positive example is an integral element of leadership, a part of their life and work every day.

    So what kind of example are you setting? Whether you’re aware of it or not, your actions and attitudes are being watched. You’re setting an example, modeling acceptable behavior to others.

    How can you tell if you’re setting an example people can look up to? Here are some traits the best role models share:

    They lead with self-awareness. The best role models reflect honestly and productively on their own behavior and the impact they have on others. They consider the needs and feelings of others, they’re responsible for their actions and accountable for their mistakes, and, most important, they pay attention to how their words and actions affect others.

    They lead with positivity. Great role models know that no one can be cheerful all the time, but they look for opportunities in difficult situations and face challenges with resilience and energy. They inspire those around them with their positivity and optimism.

    They lead with empathy. Part of being a role model is tuning in to the feelings of those around you. It means meeting people where they are and relating to them with kindness, compassion, and understanding. At the heart, it’s as simple as acknowledging our shared humanity.

    They lead with humility. The best role models are humble enough to be honest when they’re not sure about something. They’re supportive when you need help, sincere when others are manipulative, and modest when others are showing off. Those who lead with humility are at their best when they’re encouraging others to succeed.

    They lead with integrity. Great role models enter every situation with their good character, morals, and principles firmly in place. They don’t preach; they don’t have to. They know their values and use them as the basis of their choices, and they have the decency to do the right thing even when it’s difficult.

    They lead with trust. Leaders with consistent character—the ones who “walk their talk”—develop an atmosphere of accountability and responsibility. And those elements form the foundations of trust. A commitment to building and earning trust is one of the most important elements of a great team.

    They lead with respect. Many people aspire to impressive titles in an effort to get others to respect them. But the best roles model understand that you earn respect through the way you treat others. They give respect, and in turn they receive it.

    They lead with honesty. People will naturally look up to you if they can count on you to tell the truth, however difficult or awkward it may be. This includes telling the truth about yourself, the mistakes you’ve made, and the places where your judgment has faltered. Your people will appreciate and emulate your transparency

    Whether you want to be or not, unless you live alone in a cave you’re probably somebody’s role model. That makes it important for each of us to remember that people learn more from what we do than what we say, more from what we are than what we teach.

    Lead from within. Whether you choose to be or not, you are a role model—so watch your words and be mindful of your actions, because people are looking at each other to be inspired.


    N A T I O N A L    B E S T S E L L E R

    THE LEADERSHIP GAP

    What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post How to Be The Best Role Model appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 09:07:58 on 2018/02/13 Permalink
    Tags: Blog, , , , , Overconfident, ,   

    How to Handle Annoying Overconfident People In Your Life 

    We all encounter annoyingly overconfident people from time to time—the ones who come across as if they know everything. Sometimes it’s hard not to let them get under your skin.

    But there is an effective way how to handle overconfident people.

    My work as an executive leadership coach working brings me in contact with top people in all kinds of organizations and industries, so I see overconfident people all the time. Part of my role is to ground them in reality, and part of it is to teach them to deal with other overconfident people.

    First, though, let’s make a distinction clear between two different degrees, or types, of overconfident people. The first is the narcissist, who is not only overconfident but also has a sense of superiority and entitlement. For a detailed discussion of dealing with a narcissist, see my Inc. article How to Deal With a Narcissistic Leader

    But here we’re looking at a run-of-the-mill overconfident colleague, boss, or associate—the ones who get on your nerves on a daily basis. Here are some smart strategies for coping and thriving:

    1. Connect with your own inner security: The best way to deal with an overconfident person is to find your own inner sense of security. When you can find your own confidence, nothing an overconfident person can say or do will undermine you. They may be unable to relate to you and may even say obnoxious or cruel things, but you can always let it slide when you feel secure in yourself.

    2. Don’t let it get to you. This is easy to say but harder to accomplish. But if you can learn to ignore the overconfident, superior attitude and try to find ways to you can enjoy each other’s company, it may benefit you you both. Deep down, there’s probably something to this person that’s worth knowing or exploring, and maybe at the deepest level there may be a person who is good and kind, with something in their background that causes their overconfident behavior.

    3. Know their secret. Overconfident people are often quite insecure, and they cover up their insecurities through dominating and controlling others. They find it hard to admit being wrong, and they will often cling to a belief even in the face of evidence that it’s outdated or wrong.

    4. Learn tolerance. Most of us are quick to judge. Perhaps impatience is your personal weakness, and frustration and annoyance are frequent responses for you. Maybe you feel intimidated or pressured. Whatever is happening, overconfident people present a great opportunity to learn patience, to listen without judging. Aim to tolerate the person and learn to understand what motivates him or her. Think about how you’d respond in the same position.

    5. Improve your assertiveness. Over confident people can smell self-doubt miles away—and when they do, they likely will pounce. The best way to combat those who think they have all the answers is to improve on your own assertiveness. Aggressively overconfident people won’t waste their time on people they can’t push around or get a rise out of.

    6. Be tactful. So you have tried tolerance and improved your assertiveness. Now it’s time for a new weapon: tact. You can still point out things that are self-evident without calling out the person’s arrogance. You can still respond assertively to things that are incorrect—just do it with kindness and empathy.

    7. Change the subject. Another great tool for handling overconfident people is a simple pivot to a new topic. By changing the conversation, you can discontinue the overconfident person’s dominance. If they try to return to the old topic, politely point out that everyone has already made their views known, and return to yet another new topic.

    8. Keep your distance to avoid confrontation. If you’ve tried all the other techniques to no avail, you can still lessen the impact of an arrogant overconfident person. Keep your distance to you can keep your sanity. Simply do your best to stay out of their way. It’ll buy you time to work out how to better respond, or if nothing else it will minimize their annoying presence.

    Lead from within: Overconfident people are arrogant people who simply too insecure to face their own reality. As Charles Bukowski so brilliantly stated, the problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence.

     


    N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R

    The Leadership Gap

    What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post How to Handle Annoying Overconfident People In Your Life appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 09:00:48 on 2018/02/06 Permalink
    Tags: Blog, , , , , ,   

    7 Ways To Keep Your Team Happy And Motivated 

    There are probably few if any people in leadership who don’t aspire to have a happy team. But what does it take to keep people motivated? Especially these days, when most people are working long hours and have so much to do, there are steps you can take to help ensure your team is happy (and, since the two go hand in hand, motivated). Here’s a list, compiled from the workshops I facilitate, of what fuels the happiest teams

    1. A happy team has a supportive leader. A happy team has a leader who is engaged and supportive—and leaders with that style will go much further than either micromanagers or aloof directors. People are much more willing to go the extra mile if they know their team leader is willing to roll their sleeves up and pitch in when necessary. They need to know their leader is someone they can count on when the going gets tough.

    2. A happy team has an inclusive culture. One key to a happy team is to create an environment where people feel free to discuss ideas openly and to disagree with each other before reaching consensus—or, at the very least, a compromise that everyone can live with.  If the culture is right, the conversation will be honest and the communication will find common ground. Make sure your team atmosphere is one where new ideas are welcomed, healthy debate is encouraged and everyone works toward the same goals of trust, respect and success.

    3. A happy team has opportunities for learning. When team members feel that the organization and leadership are invested in their career, they feel valued—which in turn makes them feel happier and more productive, innovative and creative. Team members are also invigorated by feeling that they’re growing and not just standing still. Extend as many opportunities as possible for learning and professional development.

    4. A happy team has up-to-date tools that work well. Teams work at their best when they know they’re equipped to do their job properly. Tools that are outdated or that don’t work well make the workplace stressful and frustrating. When setting goals for your team, make sure that they have the tools and training to accomplish they need.

    5. A happy team has ongoing feedback and clear communication. Good communication skills build trusting relationship and cultivate happy people. That means you need to be as skilled at listening as at speaking and writing. Allocate ongoing time for feedback, making sure communication is honest, truthful and straightforward. Teamwork thrives in an environment where communication is valued.

    6. A happy team knows mistakes are acceptable. While you should be able to expect consistently high performance from your team, mistakes and errors are inevitable. A positive working culture is one where employees are not made to feel that a mistake is unacceptable or fatal. The best teams make mistakes—and then learn from them. Avoid blaming or shaming people when they make a mistake.

    7. A happy team receives appreciation and recognition. When your team does something above and beyond, something unexpected, something that impresses you—express appreciation and recognition as loudly and publically as possible. It’s a no-brainer: making people feel valued it one of the easiest things you can do to foster a positive workplace culture and a happy team.

    Everyone in the organization, from the top down, is responsible for designing and building a positive environment and culture where people can be happy, where everyone makes a contribution, where everyone counts.

    Lead from within: Happy people make happy teams, and happy teams know what they want and how to navigate toward it together.


    N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R

    THE LEADERSHIP GAP

    What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post 7 Ways To Keep Your Team Happy And Motivated appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 09:51:16 on 2018/01/30 Permalink
    Tags: Blog, Burnt Out Leadership, , , , , ,   

    7 Important Reasons Leaders Crash and Burn 

    Whether you’re in a formal leadership role or not, if people are relying on you and you are responsible for their success, you’re serving as a leader—and that means experiencing all the highs and lows of leadership.

    Generally, leaders want to do their best and maintain high standards of excellence. They push themselves for the benefit of their team and put their own interests at the bottom of the list.

    Those attitudes are part of what makes people leaders, but it also puts them at higher than average risk of burnout. Here are seven serious ways leaders set themselves up to crash and burn:

    1. Focusing on being liked. A need to be liked makes leadership a struggle. The best leaders understand that being liked is a side effect, not a goal. If they’re invested in their people and in helping them learn and grow in an atmosphere of respect and equality—as any leader should be—they will be liked. Leaders who focus on being liked, on the other hand, are constantly changing direction in hopes of earning someone’s approval. In the end, they’re not effective as leaders—and they’re actually liked less than those who have their priorities in order. Leadership is not about being liked; it’s about getting the job done while empowering those around you.

    2. Taking on too much without delegating. If you think you’re the only one who can get the job done right, you are doing a disservice to your own leadership—and to all the people who were hired to support you in your work. When you take on too much without delegating you’ll end up feeling perpetually behind with no chance of catching up, and few situations are more exhausting. Part of your role as a leader is helping your team take on more authority to build their own leadership skills. If you don’t delegate, you’re failing your team and yourself.

    3. Deviating from what’s important. If you’re the type of leader who says yes to everything, you’ll end up overloaded and unfocused. Learn instead to say yes only to the things that are important to your mission. Leadership is about getting things done and achieving results, so keep your focus on the things that directly or indirectly contribute to results and learn to say no to the rest.

    4. Relying on consensus. Leaders have to be able to make decisions independently and trust their own judgment. If you find yourself often waiting for people to agree with you or second-guessing yourself, you’re adding to your stress and detracting from your leadership. Building a great team involves collaboration—one of the key elements associated with creating a dynamic corporate culture. But consensus decision making isn’t appropriate or feasible in many situations, and that’s where leadership steps up.

    5. Getting caught up in your own importance. Even good leaders can get caught up in their own hype—which actually means they’re caught up in their own ego. When you lead from your ego you undermine your effectiveness as a leader. Stoking your own ego will never earn you anyone’s respect, and leadership should never be about pushing your own agenda, status and gratification ahead of others affected by your actions.

    6. Failing to build trust. Earning and building trust are at the heart of leadership. If you fail to cultivate trust as a leader, communication and team effectiveness immediately suffer—and it’s hard to make up losses in those areas. Learn the problems that a lack of trust can cause in your team, and remember that resolving trust issues starts and ends with you.

    7. Tending to fix instead of navigate. If you find yourself constantly trying to fix whatever problem is in front of you instead of navigating long-term solutions, you’re going to keep spinning your wheels. Great leaders avoid burnout by empowering others to look for solutions while the leader navigates the way with them.

    In short, if you want to avoid crashing and burning, you need to reach beyond managing your role. You have to learn to manage yourself.

    Lead from within: Working hard for something you don’t care about is called stress; working hard for something you love is called passion.


    N A T I O N A L  B E S T S E L L E R

    The Leadership Gap
    What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post 7 Important Reasons Leaders Crash and Burn appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 09:48:17 on 2018/01/23 Permalink
    Tags: Blog, Feedback, , , , ,   

    The Power of Feedback: How To Make Feedback Constructive 

    Criticism is rarely easy for anyone to hear, but the manner in which it’s provided can make a huge difference in how feedback is received and how useful it can be in helping the recipient grow.

    The way most organizations handle feedback is terrible. Bosses save everything up till the dreaded performance review rolls around. Piling up a year’s worth of feedback in one day is grueling and stressful for everyone involved. Instead of being an opportunity for growth, it’s treated as something awful to get through.

    I believe there is a problem—not only with the whole performance review process but with how we communicate feedback. We have institutionalized the art of letting people know how they’re doing, often with a process that does more harm than good. But we dutifully follow the system that’s handed to us, even though it’s unsettling for everyone involved.

    Feedback can be invaluable when it’s offered in the right way with the right intentions. Knowing the how and when is a skill, and like any other skill it takes practice to get it right.

    Here is the process I teach to top leaders around the world. It’s effective, constructive, and geared toward employees’ overall growth and development.

    Make sure there’s a reason. For feedback to be effective, it must have a purpose. You may be analyzing a recent problem to prevent it from recurring, or the employee’s role may be involved in an area that’s been targeted for expansion. Effective feedback requires credibility, and that credibility is absent if only context is “It’s review time and I have to list something under ‘Areas for Improvement.’”

    It has to be given at right time and at for right duration. Appropriate timing is important. When an event triggers a need for feedback, provide it as quickly as possible (but not in the heat of the moment). Timely feedback allows you to address issues more effectively, and it doesn’t leave employees feeling blindsided.

    It has to be done routinely and regularly. Examining events and looking for highs and lows, and especially for places where changes would be beneficial, should be a regular part of your leadership, whether it’s daily, weekly, or monthly. When feedback becomes part of that process, it doesn’t make recipients feel singled out or like a scapegoat.

    Keep it simple and specific. To be effective, feedback must be clear. Stay on track and stick to the issue at hand. Avoid phrases like you never or you always—discuss the impact of specific behavior without blame or personal criticism.

    Make it interactive. Feedback works best when it’s treated not as a one-way street but an interactive session for problem solving. Ask for input and ideas to help clarify it’s about progress, not punishment.

    Use “I” statements. The best feedback comes from your personal perspective. You can avoid labeling, blaming and accusing by making sure your sentences start with “I”: I thought, I sense,, and by expressing yourself with concern and care,

    Know when to go private. It’s a wise principle that’s easy to forget: give recognition in public and criticism in private. Create a safe environment, away from hearing ears, and speak in a way that no one can overhear or disrupt the conversation. Privacy is important.

    Stay focused. A good feedback discussion is about one issue, not piling on every large and small grievance at once. If you expand the scope of the feedback to include objectives and criticisms, you risk having an employee who feels attacked and demoralized—and who wouldn’t? Stick to the specific behavior that the employee needs to change.

    For every negative, give two positives. A good rule to follow is to start off with something positive. This helps put the person in the right frame of mind to receive information. It’s also good to end the discussion with something positive so they don’t leave discouraged and dispirited.

    Follow up for progress. The whole purpose of feedback is for improvement. Feedback needs to be carried out in a constant loop in which everyone thinks about what they’ve done and what they could do better, as they work to grow and develop—and that requires measuring accomplishments. Discuss what is and isn’t working and work together on anything that needs to be amended.

    If feedback is positive and constructive, positive outcomes will be the result; if it is grounded in negativity, a lack of engagement and failure will follow.

    LEAD FROM WITHIN: Feedback is effective when it’s a two-way street. You need to know how to give it effectively and receive it constructively.

     


    N A T I O N A L    B E S T S E L L E R

    The Leadership Gap

    What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post The Power of Feedback: How To Make Feedback Constructive appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
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