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  • feedwordpress 08:00:02 on 2019/10/31 Permalink
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    12 Phrases That Will Help You Resolve Any Conflict   


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    Conflicts are an inevitable part of any workplace and a constant source of stress for many leaders. Conflict resolution is an important skill for any leader to master.

    Like many other challenges, conflicts can actually present opportunities for positive change. Effective conflict resolution can build deeper relationships and foster more effective communication.

    One of the issues many leaders face in conflict resolution is simply knowing what to say. Here are some effective phrases that I have coached my clients to use in times of conflict. Try them out the next time you’re faced with a conflict:

    I sense that you’re feeling emotional about this topic. Is that right? Sometimes to break tension you need to label the emotion. Never ignore emotions, because they will only escalate. Labeling acknowledges what the person feels without judgment, helping them feel recognized and acknowledged and decreasing their tension.

    Let’s take a breather before we think this through. Sometimes the best thing to do is to take a break. The word breather is deliberate—giving pause to the situation and giving everyone involved a chance to take a few deep breaths.

    Thank you for your candor—I appreciate your feedback. Most people who tell the truth don’t receive appreciation. The best way to resolve conflict is to remain open to all feedback, because resolution requires that people tell it like it is.

    I recognize your efforts and hard work. Most people are appreciated only for results, not for the effort that they put in—especially if that effort was part of something unsuccessful. If you appreciate someone’s effort you are telling them they are valuable even if they haven’t succeeded. Helping people feel appreciated and valued can establish a positive connection and help open up common ground.

    Let’s work on this problem and fix it together. This phrase is important because instead of placing people on opposite sides of the conflict, you are signaling partnership. It shows that you care not just about resolving the current conflict but also about building and maintaining a spirit of collaboration.

    Tell me more—I want to understand. Most people speak to be heard, but few take the time to understand. This phrase is powerful because everyone wants to be understood. It doesn’t mean you have to agree, just that you are willing to hear them out.

    Let’s see what we can do to make sure it doesn’t happen again. When you express concern for the work without placing blame, you shift the discussion from a defensive back-and-forth to a prevention-focused exploration.

    What can we do to change the situation? The important word in this phrase is we—it’s not about what you can do or what you can tell them to do. Using we signals collaboration instead of hierarchy and problem-solving instead of finger-pointing.

    Yes, you’re completely right. If you are miles apart, find something you can agree on together so you can start the conversation with this phrase. When people feel heard and validated, they’re more likely to engage in a constructive dialogue.

    I wasn’t aware of this—tell me more. Stating your ignorance is sometimes a good place to begin defusing a situation. Stop talking and really listen; let the other person know that you are interested in what they are saying. Keep asking questions and listening empathetically until you get to the root of the conflict.

    I am with you on that. It can be hard to hear yourself being blamed, but your willingness to be held accountable can work wonders. If you let people know you are with them, you can not only resolve the current situation more readily but also avoid future confrontations.

    How can I support you? This phrase is one that every leader should use over and over and over again—in conflict, in dialogue, in conversation, in all communication. It eases stress, defuses conflicts and sets a positive tone for relationships.

    One of the biggest mistakes leaders can make is trying to avoid conflict. Dealt with the right way conflict can be a force for positive change. It opens the channel to better communication and stronger relationships.

    Lead from within: The bottom line is that conflict will always exist, but a satisfactory resolution and positive outcomes are within your power.

     


     

    #1  N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R

    The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

     

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

    The post 12 Phrases That Will Help You Resolve Any Conflict   appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 08:00:02 on 2019/10/29 Permalink
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    The Toxic Habits That Will Make You a Bad Leader 


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    We all have things we need to work on. Maybe you catch yourself zoning out in meetings, or taking on work that you should be delegating. It’s important to pay attention to those areas and keep them under control. But some habits are worse than others. Here are six of the most destructive—tendencies that, left unchecked, will definitely undermine your authority as a leader and will cause your team to lose faith in you.

    Playing favorites. Leadership is about building teamwork and collaboration. When the leader has obvious favorites, it creates an unhealthy culture and negativity. It’s human nature to like some people more than others, and every team has top performers, but it’s critical that you treat everyone fairly and keep the playing field level.

    Getting into the weeds where you don’t belong. If you’re constantly breathing down the necks of your people, and concerning yourself with the details of everyone’s work, you’re undermining their abilities and growth. Employees want autonomy, and they don’t want you micromanaging them every minute of the day. Hold people accountable for their work, but remember that micromanagement signals a lack of respect.

    Showcasing your insecurities. Even the best and most successful leaders are subject to bouts of insecurity. But a leader who frequently expresses uncertainty and insecurity has a negative effect on the team. Work to resolve any serious self-esteem issues before they harm your career and those around you.

    Complaining about what’s going wrong. No matter how much you feel like venting about all the things going awry. a leader should never complain. People are looking to you to set a tone, and constant complaining is both contagious and overwhelmingly negative. Whatever’s going on, focus on solutions.

    Rejecting feedback. A big part of leadership is listening to others and working to understand their perspective, but some leaders emphasize their own ideas at the expense of what anyone else might think or feel. A continued unwillingness to listen to concerns of those you lead can lead to conflicts and problems.

    Leaders should hold themselves to a higher standard since they are responsible not only for themselves but also for the people they work with. Sadly, too many leaders focus on personal power and self-serving goals. This misuse of leadership will trickle down into their organization, causing distress, betrayal, frustration and anger, and eventually leading to an unsuccessful culture and working environment.

    Lead from within: Bad leadership alienates others, but good leadership empowers them. If you find yourself practicing any toxic habits, stop them immediately—not only for the sake of your own leadership but for the benefit of those you lead.

     


     

    #1  N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R

    The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

     

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: iStockphoto

    The post The Toxic Habits That Will Make You a Bad Leader appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 08:00:52 on 2019/10/24 Permalink
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    This is What Happens When Your Leadership Lacks Confidence 


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    Confidence is one of the most important leadership skills you can have—but it isn’t always easy to come by. Confidence is grounded in your perception of your own abilities and how you come across to others. If you’re constantly comparing yourself to others and feeling that you’re coming up short—not smart enough, not successful enough, not advancing quickly enough—you can quickly spiral into self-doubt. Here are some of the insights I’ve discovered about confidence in my many years as a leadership coach:

    Confidence is not just one thing. Confidence covers a range of perceptions, attitudes and feelings, and labeling yourself as lacking confidence is an unhelpful generalization. At any moment we’re almost all very confident in some respects and unconfident in others. Get to know the entire profile of your confidence and the things that influence it from day to day.

    Appearances can be misleading. Many people who appear to have a great deal of confidence actually have no more than the rest of us. The difference is this: they know that they might make a mistake, get something wrong, or put their foot in their mouth, but they keep those possibilities in perspective and know that it’s not life or death. Most people feel less confident than they look, and remembering this can help you navigate your own moments of unconfidence.

    Confidence comes from doing things well. Before you can do anything well, you have to learn how to do it badly. Confidence comes from practicing your capabilities and competencies. Once you know that you can start something and improve on it through practice, you’ll feel less anxious about taking on new roles and skills.

    People take you at your own estimation. Ask yourself what habits you have that may signal to others know how you feel about yourself. Even if you think you’re hiding your thoughts, people will pick up on your level of confidence and adjust their expectations to match. True confidence is hard to fake—you need to develop it as something you feel and know about yourself.

    When a leader lacks confidence, the consequences affect the entire team. Unconfident leaders withhold information, postpone important decisions, and have trouble building teams and inspiring them. Without confidence, there is no leadership—because what you don’t have, you cannot give to others.

    Leadership can be difficult—at times it’s just about impossible to navigate—and if you don’t have confidence in yourself, your team isn’t going to have confidence in you or in themselves. Cultivating your own confidence is one of the best things you can do for yourself and your team.

    Lead from within: If you want to generate self-confidence, learn more about what causes you to have lack confidence. It is only then that you can build your self-esteem.


    #1  N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R

    The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness


    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

    The post This is What Happens When Your Leadership Lacks Confidence appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 08:00:50 on 2019/10/22 Permalink
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    How You Can Add Value to Your Meetings 


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    If you think you spend way too much time in meetings, you’re not alone. Most of us know the feeling of looking at the calendar, seeing one meeting after another, and realizing that you have virtually no time in the day to actually accomplish the things you need to do. It’s frustrating.

    But if you’re going to be stuck in meetings, you can turn it into a better experience by making a positive contribution. If nothing else, a meeting is a visible forum for your ideas and professional presence. Nobody wants to be the person who just shows up and zones out. These tips will help you be a strong performer in meetings:

    Be prepared. One of the biggest problems people cite about business meetings is a focus on too many questions and not enough answers. Half the time seems to be spent bringing people up to speed and answering questions that wouldn’t need to be asked if everyone had come prepared. Set a good example by making sure you know everything you need to know going in.

    Play to your strengths. If you were invited to a meeting, you’re there because someone thought you had something to offer. Take advantage of the chance to show your knowledge and competencies. Don’t be a showoff, but speak with confidence and a clear point of view.

    Keep it short. We’ve all been in meetings with people who love the sound of their own voice. You can be the most valuable person in the room just by expressing yourself clearly and concisely. If there’s a concept that’s too complicated to explain quickly, don’t take everyone into the weeds. Give a quick overview and offer to follow up with more detailed information for anyone who’s interested.

    Ask questions. Actively participating by asking questions shows that you’re engaged and interested in the discussion. Try to ask open questions, which encourage dialogue and can help generate new ideas. Questions can allow you to clarify the position of others, improve your understanding of an issue, and show respect for the expertise and opinions of your colleagues.

    Speak up to highlight issues. Many people find it easier to go along with the majority in meetings rather than highlighting the issues and working through them as a group. Although it can be daunting, meetings are the first place where issues should be discussed, and you shouldn’t hold back. A willingness to speak up and go against the flow demonstrates strategic thinking and shows your commitment to the team and its success.

    Volunteer to stand out. Listen for any upcoming assignments, projects and other activities where you can volunteer and make a difference Offering to go outside your regular duties will go far in demonstrating your value to the team.

    For most of us, meetings aren’t a favorite way to spend our time at work. But knowing how to make an effective contribution in meetings is a great way to demonstrate your value and voice your ideas.

    Lead from within: Meetings can’t be avoided. But if you do the things no one else is doing, you can use them to help make the difference you want to make.


    #1  N A T I O N A L  B E S T S E L L E R

    The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness


    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

     

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

    The post How You Can Add Value to Your Meetings appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 08:00:23 on 2019/10/17 Permalink
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    How to Become a Successful Leader, Whatever You Do 


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    Leaders in every field want to be successful at what they do—but they don’t always know how to get there. The key to success is knowing the foundational principles of leadership. They’re the attributes that will help you stand out from the rest. Learn these principles and incorporate them into your work and life, and you will almost certainly grow to become the successful leader you want to be .

    Here are the most important principles I have found in my work with successful leaders in all kinds of industries and organizations around the world:

    Always recognize your people. If you don’t appreciate your people, they will leave you—it’s as simple as that, The US Department of Labor says that the number one reason people leave their jobs is because they don’t feel appreciated. Most people receive very little workplace recognition, so it’s vital that you recognize and reward people for their efforts at work.

    Leave your desk and become more visible. Being a successful leader requires being available and accessible. It’s not as simple as leaving your door open—you have to participate and engage and share and be present. That means leaving your desk, talking to people, and showing an interest in who they are and what they do.

    Be vulnerable. Most people believe that a leader has to know everything and have answers and solutions for every situation. But the most successful leaders, the ones people remember the most, are those who are vulnerable and real about who they are, what they know and how much they need the team to help them succeed.

    See yourself as a motivator and positive force. Every organization has problems, and people can get real negative real fast. Remember to always find the good, the positive, the path to a solution when things go wrong. It’s an approach that people admire and want to emulate.

    Speak your mind and tell others what you think. I have found that some leaders don’t want to tell people what they are thinking. They are so focused on being an inclusive leader that they lose their own voice altogether. A great leader, a truly successful one, speaks their mind and tells people what they think. Be open to other opinions, but never hesitate to give others a chance to learn from you and become more confident in their own voices.

    Build relationships with everyone. Most leaders manage up and across. But the best leaders manage up, across and down. They engage with people no matter what their position. A successful leader at any level engages people at every level.

    Push the envelope. I cannot tell you how many times I have sat in senior leadership team meetings and heard a leader say, “If it ain’t broke, why do we have to fix it?” For me, that is not leadership. The most successful leaders are constantly pushing the envelope, asking, “How can we do better?” Successful leadership means looking for opportunities that you can bring more to.

    Move through your fears. You may think successful leaders don’t have fears. They do, but they know how to move through them—that’s part of what makes them successful .When you’re fearful of something, try asking yourself, “What is the worst thing that can happen?” Then work on finding a solution from that perspective.

    Challenge yourself constantly. If you find yourself in a position of leading, or wanting to lead, start right now to challenge yourself daily in your confidence, skills, and development. Never allow yourself to think that you’ve arrived and got everything covered. Every time you take a step forward, you have to challenge yourself to know more and do better.

    Being good at what you do, whatever it is, takes perseverance and passion, and that’s especially true for those in leadership. If you love what you do, you will care about how you do it.

    Lead from within: To be a successful leader you have to know the important principles that make people notice you, respect you and trust you.


    #1  N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R

    The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness


    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now

     


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

    The post How to Become a Successful Leader, Whatever You Do appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
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