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  • feedwordpress 04:07:31 on 2021/06/09 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , , , , , , screen presence, , stage presence,   

    Quick Tip #106: Up Your Stage Presence in Person and on Screen 

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    In this month’s interview with Dr. Jennifer Caudle, I outline how to up your presence in person and across a screen.

  • feedwordpress 22:50:27 on 2021/05/19 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Self Serving   

    Why Being a Self Serving Leader is So Dangerous 

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    Good leadership is focused on others, but self-serving leadership undermines that principle to focus on the ego and the symptoms can take hold and begin damaging your leadership before you’re even aware. Be on guard against these signs so you can recognize them in yourself before they take root and grow:

    Arguing. If you find yourself often arguing with others or in a mindset where you’re right and others are wrong, you’re likely coming across as rigid and unwilling to listen. Stop arguing and start being open to finding points of agreement.

    Absence. If you’re always engaged in something else when your people need you, they’ll see you as distracted, absorbed and preoccupied. Work to becoming a leader who empowers, inspires and motivates by being available and accessible.

    Defensiveness. When your leadership is about protecting and defending yourself, you’re likely to find yourself working against those you’re supposed to be leading.

    Boasting. When you take all the credit instead of sharing it with your team, you show them where your priorities are, so don’t expect them to work so hard next time. Spotlight your people instead of yourself.

    Bluster. If you’re in the habit of speaking over others, interrupting, and making statements without allowing others to respond or express their own thoughts, you kill the energy and ideas of your team. Talk less and listen more.

    Competitiveness. Competition can spur people to do great work, but if you’re competing against those you lead, you’re setting a bad example. Remember that they’re on your side; work to elevate their performance and focus your competitive side elsewhere.

    Envy. When you’re jealous or begrudging of those you lead, remember that leadership at its core is taking pleasure in other people’s success. Celebrate, appreciate and recognize the work and success of others.

    Self-promotion. If your leadership is ego-driven, you’re missing the point. Turn your attention to elevating those you lead, not yourself. Any time you  find yourself wanting to promote yourself, change it up and honor your team instead.

    Delusion. if you’re basing your leadership on a false impression of your own self-importance, you need to understand that grandstanding serves only to isolate you from those you are trying to influence and lead, and it’s counterproductive to bringing people together to do great things. Break down the false and misleading impressions you have of yourself and practice leading from reality.

    Ego. When you think of leadership as something you do to serve yourself, your leadership is bogged down in ego. Instead, try dedicating your energy to helping others be successful. Be known as a leader who serves others instead of yourself.

    Self-serving leadership is dangerous to you and to those you lead. Few things can do more to undermine your influence, respect and trust.

    Lead from within: It’s easy to fall into self-serving leadership behaviors, even if it’s not the way you normally operate. So be a thoughtful leader who is self-aware at all times.

    #1 N A T I O N A L  B E S T S E L L E R

    The Leadership Gap
    What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

    The post Why Being a Self Serving Leader is So Dangerous appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

  • feedwordpress 05:01:00 on 2021/05/09 Permalink
    Tags: business comunication, , , , Policitcal correctness   

    Political Correctness in the Workplace 

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    I answered the phone to hear my client’s normally confident voice sound a little hesitant.

    “I’m not sure how to make this call, she said. First, know how much we enjoy working with you and that your evaluations are always top notch.”

    “What’s wrong” I asked.

    “Remember Tom from that training you did last week” she asked?

    “Sure, I said. Nice guy”.

    “Well, she responded, someone complained about what you said to him.”

    At first, I had no clue what she was talking about and then it hit me. As we introduced ourselves in the virtual room, I was shocked at how much Tom looked like my younger brother. I said I’ve heard everyone has a double and told him he was a double for my brother, then joked, that Tom was better looking. Everyone laughed.

    Apparently, it was no laughing matter because a woman in the program complained that it was a sexist remark.

    The definition of sexist is “prejudice or discrimination based on sex or gender, especially against women and girls.” The definition of gender discrimination is a “situation in which people are treated differently simply because they are male or female, rather than on the basis of their individual skills or capabilities”.

    I do not consider myself sexist or discriminatory toward any gender. Initially, I dismissed the woman’s offense as ridiculous and a complete overreaction. Perhaps it was. However, as I thought about it for a moment, I realized that what might not seem offensive to me can unintentionally offend someone else.

    I asked my client if she wanted me to apologize and she said no, but she was obligated to tell me that someone complained.

    In today’s environment, everyone seems to have a different tolerance level for what is being said. What upsets or offends one person may not bother someone else. It’s understandable how people can be offended if someone calls them an ugly name or makes fun of their disability. Yet, if someone told me I should not pursue a singing career because I can’t carry a tune, should I be offended? Maybe you would be, but I would appreciate their honest opinion, whether I agreed with it or not.

    So, I’m wondering if political correctness is bubbling out of control. Are we teaching the next generation to be offended by anything that bothers them? How softly do we have to walk on eggshells?

    Before you become offended by what I’m suggesting, that is, if you’re not already offended, hear me out.

    In singer-songwriter Jason Mraz’s song, Did you get my message, he asks:

    Do you ever wonder what happens to the words that we send
    Do they bend? Do they break from the flight that they take
    And come back together again? With a whole new meaning
    And a brand new sense completely unrelated to the one I sent

    Our words and the way we use them are frequently misinterpreted and taken out of context. Sometimes, it’s not what we say, but how we say it. Sometimes, how a person reacts to something we say is not our fault. So, I’ve developed a few rules of my own that I want to pass on to you.

    • Ask the right question

    For starters, if you are offended by something someone said, determine if that person was deliberately trying to offend you. Then tell them why you were offended so they develop a greater awareness and may refrain from doing it again.

    A few weeks ago, I heard a friend ask a group of friends where they get their nails done. A woman answered, “at the Asian place”. There was a discomforting silence. Then someone spoke up and said you really shouldn’t say things like that, to which the woman who made the remark responded, “say what?” After it was explained why her comment was offensive, the woman apologized and told her friends she never realized that referring to someone in those terms was discriminatory.

    • Embrace the learning opportunity

    Instead of trying to convince yourself that someone is overreacting, try to understand their      viewpoint before lashing out. You may still decide they’ve overreacted, but you may also discover why they feel the way they do.

    As an example, recently a female client told me her male manager constantly tells her not to show emotion, to speak up and be more assertive like her male colleagues. She has told her him she doesn’t want to be someone she’s not and is uncomfortable with the way he phrases feedback. He says she is too sensitive. To her, this is sexism. Other people do not have the right to invalidate your feelings by telling you how you should feel.

    • Don’t respond emotionally

    If someone is offended, don’t minimize their feelings with more words. Apologize and let it go. But don’t apologize over and over again as that continually reminds someone of your mistake and prevents the two of you from getting past it.

    • Pay attention

    Often, when someone is uncomfortable at something said, subtle body language signs such as crossed arms, raised eyebrows and facial expressions are clues that they may have been offended. Instead of continuing, take a moment to read visual clues so you can stop and assess what is happening.

    • Know when to get help

    Most of the time, the above suggestions will take the edge off, but if you can’t resolve the issue, you may need to ask for help. At work, tell your manager what happened so they can help mediate.

    I have heard some refer to those who are more easily offended than others as “thin skinned”. Some people go out of their way to be diplomatic when speaking and others simply don’t care who they offend.

    While political correctness may mean different things to different people, it is not intended to halt free speech or squash someone else’s opinion. Rather, it’s about trying to understand how certain words and how they are used can be hurtful. If those words unintentionally portray you as sexist, racist or homophobic, instead of making it about you, try to understand how these words affect others.

  • feedwordpress 10:50:53 on 2021/05/04 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,   

    Your Leadership Is Contagious—Whether You Know It Or Not 

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    When standards in an organization change, the process tends to be so gradual that it’s not readily noticeable. One day you look around and realize that things that used to be unacceptable are now commonplace. Whether it’s a lax attitude toward work and deadlines, gossip and backbiting, or dishonesty, it’s easy for negative behavior to take hold.

    When norms change, people tend to ask “How did that happen?” I’m here to tell you: it starts at the top. Leadership is contagious, whether leaders know it or not. If a leader’s standards slip, the standards of the organization follow. If leadership’s values are compromised, the values of the business won’t be far behind. It’s imperative to keep close tabs on your own leadership, because others are certain to follow your lead, one by one, until your entire team is affected.

    Here are some of the ways leaders can ensure that their contagious leadership is spreading only good qualities:

    Be consistent and predictable. If you want to be trusted, respected and credible, people have to know that they can count on your conduct to always be consistent.

    Remain true to your values. Let others know who you are and what you stand for, and lead through your example of living out your values every day. Give people reason to feel good about emulating you.

    Evaluate your communications. Leaders communicate a lot, and people are quick to judge those communications as well as the cues they get from body language and nonverbal communication. Think about what you’re saying and—even more important—how you’re saying it.

    Show people what’s most important to you. The quickest way to learn what’s important to someone is to see what they give their time to. Ask yourself if you’re spending your time in ways that reflect your values or if you’re sending mixed messages.

    Take command of your emotions. If you’re quick to lose your temper, if you yell when things go wrong, if you lose patience easily, you’re sending a message to others that it’s OK—and maybe even expected—to do the same. Don’t let your own behavior validate screaming, tantrums, or abuse. Remember, your emotions have the power to make people comfortable or uncomfortable—which do you want it to be?

    Embody positivity. A positive leader means a positive team and positive organization; a negative leader is working to build a team and culture based on negativity.

    Treat others the way you want to be treated. Treat people with respect and dignity and they will treat you—and their coworkers—the same.

    When you’re a leader, your actions are constantly being watched by others. Ask yourself if you want those you lead to emulate what you do and how you do it. If not, be thoughtful of how you lead and commit to setting a good example.

    Lead from within: If you know your leadership is contagious, you’re more likely to exhibit behavior worth catching.


    #1 N A T I O N A L  B E S T S E L L E R

    The Leadership Gap
    What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

    buy now


    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

    Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

    The post Your Leadership Is Contagious—Whether You Know It Or Not appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

  • feedwordpress 22:36:15 on 2021/05/03 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,   

    Quick Tip #105: Storytelling Secrets 

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    Storytelling is a big business buzzword but what does that really mean and how do you tell a story when time is short? Karen Friedman reveals game-changing secrets in this interview.

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