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  • feedwordpress 15:52:45 on 2018/05/21 Permalink
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    Life Reframed 

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    As we come upon Memorial Weekend, I thought I would share something very personal and deep with you but with a happy ending.

     

    For 10 years, I have not enjoyed Memorial Weekend. Why is that when throughout my life I always enjoyed every holiday? It was because ten years ago, on Memorial Weekend I was in the emergency room with my husband David who was very sick. We did not find out until 4 months later that David had pancreatic cancer. He fought a good fight for 3 years but it was on another Memorial weekend when Dave was taken to an emergency room because the cancer came back with a vengeance. That was to be Dave’s last Memorial Weekend on this earth. Even though I have been with family and friends on Memorial Day, I never really enjoyed myself.

     

    Another holiday I have not liked at all since 2014 is 4th of July! I always loved fireworks but on July 4, 2014, I was taken to the emergency room in Las Vegas because I had severe head and neck pain and became very sick. That night lying in the hospital bed (while fireworks were going off), I was told there was a large mass in my head. Oh dear God! Not me. This can’t be happening. Many of you do not know the full story but I will be brief. I was diagnosed with a rare brain tumor called a clival chordoma. It was massive. I was very ill. Eventually, my sister and son took me to California where I had an excellent medical team from John Wayne Brain Cancer Institute. I was gone an entire month. My 10-hour surgery was a success. They removed about 95% of the tumor. The other piece was too close to my brain stem. I go for regular MRIs. The great news is I am now able to go once a year and all my reports have been outstanding.

     

    But the point is… I have not enjoyed hearing fireworks. They have only brought back bad memories for me.

     

    When something catastrophic happens in your life, you are deeply affected and it can take years for the bad memories to leave or be replaced with new, wonderful memories. I know because I have worked at it and I have found great joy the past 4 years.

     

    Life Reframed:

    My life and thinking have been reframed because of something that happened in April and something that is happening Memorial weekend. In April, I had my first visit for training at Walt Disney World. It was a magical experience and week for me. The first night I watched the fireworks and I felt happy to see them because this was really great news that I was working with Disney. The next night, something magical happened to me while the fireworks went off and I will never forget that night. So you see, now I like fireworks again. I am crying as I am writing this for you but I have tears of great joy.

     

    Today, I am heading to Disney World in Orlando for more training. On Memorial Weekend, my daughter and granddaughter are coming down to be with me for 4 days. Wow. No more sad Memorial weekends. I will now have beautiful new memories of this holiday.

     

    Why am I sharing this with you?

     

    Because I want you to know that your life can be reframed no matter what happens to you. And to never, ever lose hope.

     

    I thank all of you for being in my life, even if I don’t personally know you.

     

    Wishing you a wonderful Memorial Day holiday.

     

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    The post Life Reframed appeared first on Office Dynamics.

     
  • feedwordpress 15:43:18 on 2018/05/17 Permalink
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    Lessons from ATD Convention 

     

    There was no shortage of information, lessons, best practices, and thought-provoking conversations at the ATD Convention my team and I attended last week in San Diego. In case you did not see my Facebook posts, there were over 11,000 attendees from around the world; 300+ concurrent sessions; 400+ exhibits in the big convention hall, and an amazing networking night aboard the USS Midway! ATD stands for the Association for Talent Development and is the world’s largest talent development association.

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    I thought it would be fun to share with you some of the notes I took. Beyond my notes, think about how you can apply this information starting this week or at least start planting the seeds in your brain.

    • Purpose matters. People want more out of work than money.
    • Millennials are bringing purpose to the forefront of today’s business culture.
    • Why does purpose matter so much today? #1 Empowerment (shortages in skilled labor; attrition of top talents; short tenures). #2 Engagement (is an effect, not a cause; engagement does drive outcomes). #3 Evolution of Human Consciousness (reinventing organizations)
    • Purpose and meaning are not the same things. Purpose means intention, objective, goals based on your deepest core values. Meaning is of value, significance, and important to me.
    • People with purpose are more comfortable with diversity.
    • Purpose helps us through tragedy and loss.
    • (From DDI research) There is no difference in skills between men and women. Women are better at focusing on their development. Men take on more international assignments; they are more confident.
    • To help increase focus: #1 Focus on an important task for 20 minutes (chunking). #2 Minimize distractions. #3 Take a break to mentally rest between focused tasks.
    • (Marcus Buckingham) You CAN find love in what you do at work. You will want to purchase Marcus’ book when it is released: 9 Lies About Work.
    • (Masie Productions) We have to break rituals.
    • (Rita Allen Associates) Emotional Intelligence in simple terms: #1 Identify your emotions. #2 Assess your emotions. #3 Control your emotions. We have to think of ourselves holistically—we have to take care of all parts of ourselves.

     

    I have a ton more information to digest. I will try to share more great ideas on my Facebook Fridays. You can join me on Fridays at 10:00 am Pacific Time.

     

    Make it an amazing week!

     

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    The post Lessons from ATD Convention appeared first on Office Dynamics.

     
  • feedwordpress 09:00:44 on 2018/05/15 Permalink
    Tags: , Emapthy, Empathetic, , , , , ,   

    How to Be an Empathetic Leader 

    A few weeks ago, I was coaching a top leader across the pond, talking to him about the importance of empathy. When I told him that the best leaders are empathetic leaders, he challenged me on the spot. When it came to his own leadership, he said, he didn’t want to come across as weak.

    Many people view displaying empathy as weakness. I understand that point of view, but I don’t agree. As this leader’s coach, I was charged with helping him see the true nature of empathy and how it could not only benefit his own leadership but also do good for others.

    Empathy is a right-brain activity, the kind that many people consider a touchy-feely discipline—a soft skill, as it’s called these days. But at its core, empathy is a valued currency. Sometimes leaders need to get out of their own shoes and put on someone else’s to truly understand what is happening around them.

    Cultivating empathy as a leadership skill allows you to create bonds of trust. It gives you insight into what others are feeling and thinking, and it helps you understand their reactions. At its foundation, empathy informs your decision making by sharpening your perceptions and intuition.

    So, getting back to my client, here are the tips I shared with him about being empathetic without being perceived as weak:

    Truly listen. Empathetic leaders don’t just listen but truly listen. There’s a big difference. True listening means listening with open ears, open eyes and an open heart. It means paying attention to body language, to tone of voice, to the hidden emotions behind what’s being said. Most of all, it means not thinking about what you’re going to say next. You’ll always gain more from listening than from speaking.

    Don’t interrupt. Empathetic leaders know how easily distractions can affect the quality of listening. A distracted listener often grows impatient or frustrated and interrupts the speaker in an attempt to get them to move along with what they’re saying, leaving the speaker unable to express their thoughts or make their point. However strong the distraction, don’t rush people or cut them off—or worse, try to be the kind of fixer who has a slapdash solution to everything. Giving people the space to say what they have to say is an important form of empathy.

    Be fully present. When an empathetic leader speaks with someone, you’ll never catch them glancing at their watch or scanning the room or checking their phone. It’s simple: When someone is speaking, listen. If they’re expressing their feelings, be there with them. Concentrate on putting yourself in their shoes and think of ways you can be supportive.

    Leave judgment behind. Even when the feelings of others are in direct opposition to their own, empathetic leaders don’t judge. They let go of their biases and allow themselves to be open to new perspectives. When you’re an empathetic leader, you don’t look at the feelings of others in terms of agreement or disagreement but as a window into their perceptions and world view, an opportunity to better understand what they’re experiencing and expressing.

    Watch body language. Empathetic leaders understand that nonverbal communication can say more about what you are thinking than any words. Body language is often the most direct way people communicate what they think or feel, even when their verbal communication says something quite different. Be aware of your own body language as you deal with others: remain open and listening, lean in when people speak, and show that you’re interested in what they are saying. Spend some time considering how you come across when you communicate with others.

    Encourage the quiet ones. In meetings, there are always two or three who do most of the talking. .And then there are the quiet ones who for whatever reason never speak up as much, even if their ideas are solid. As a leader, make it a point to encourage people to have a say; the simple act of encouraging the quiet ones will empower everyone around you.

    Take a personal interest. Empathetic leaders have genuine curiosity about the lives of those who work for them, and they show their interest by asking questions about people’s lives, their challenges, their families, their aspirations. It’s not professional interest but personal, and it’s the strongest way to build relationships.

    When a leader lacks empathy, others approach with their guard up and everyone feels alone in looking after their own interests. With an empathetic leader, though, everyone knows they can be open about what they are thinking and feeling without being judged, dismissed or ignored.

    Lead from within: Empathy is an emotional and thinking muscle that becomes stronger with use. It doesn’t come across as weak but as the best kind of strength.


    N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R

    THE LEADERSHIP GAP

    What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

    After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

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    Additional Reading you might enjoy:

     

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

    The post How to Be an Empathetic Leader appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 00:15:28 on 2018/05/15 Permalink
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    We Cannot Lead Others Without First Leading From Within 

     

    What makes a great leader? Leadership and management expert Lolly Daskal takes the stereotype of the single, superior figure wielding power over the masses and turns it inside out—literally. “We think leadership is an external quality, but it is and always has been an internal quality,” Daskal says. “Leaders aren’t great because they have power, but because they can empower others.”

    Effective leadership is as simple—and challenging—as knowing who you are, what you stand for, and how you can use that to serve others. Daskal’s talk introduces you to your inherent ability to lead from within. Are you ready?

    Lolly Daskal is one of the most sought-after executive leadership coaches in the world. Her extensive cross-cultural expertise spans 14 countries, six languages and hundreds of companies.

    As founder and CEO of Lead From Within, her proprietary leadership program is engineered to be a catalyst for leaders who want to enhance performance and make a meaningful difference in their companies, their lives, and the world. Based on a mix of modern philosophy, science, and nearly thirty years coaching top executives, Lolly’s perspective on leadership continues to break new ground and produce exceptional results.

    Lolly Daskal’s new book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness is a Wall Street Journal Bestseller and she is also the bestselling author of Thoughts Spoken From the Heart.

    Of her many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc.com, and 100 Great Leadership Speakers for Your Next by Inc. Magazine. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community.

    The post We Cannot Lead Others Without First Leading From Within appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

     
  • feedwordpress 22:00:50 on 2018/05/10 Permalink
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    What IS the Difference Between “Since” and “Because”? 

     

    This request recently came my way: Barbara, I’d love to see you do an article on the difference between “as” and “since” and “because.” Here’s a summary of what my research told me.

    Both “because” and “since” imply cause, and they can be interchangeable when “since” means “for the reason that.” e.g., “Since my dog needs exercise, I take him for a walk.” e.g., “I walk every day because my dog needs exercise.”

    One source suggests using “because” when the reason is the most important part of the sentence and “since” or “as” when the reason is already well known and is less important. e.g., “The match was cancelled because it was raining.”

    I endorse this as an important distinction. I use it myself and recommend it to you. Here’s why.

    “Since” also refers to a time frame. But look at this example. “Since we ate lunch, we had lots of energy.” Do you see how this statement is ambiguous? Does it mean “from the time we had lunch” or “for the reason that we had lunch”?

    To avoid confusion, I recommend using “because” when your meaning relates to “cause” and “since” when it’s a factor of time. Keep the meanings distinct; it’s a good way to add clarity to your writing and power to your pen.

    For clarification of commonly confused words, download a free reference guide at www.WordTrippers.com/odi

    Barbara McNichol is passionate about helping administrative professionals add power to their pen. To assist in this mission, she has created a Word Trippers Tips resource so you can quickly find the right word when it matters most. It allows you to improve your writing through excellent weekly resources in your inbox, including a webinar, crossword puzzles, and a Word Tripper of the Week for 52 weeks. You can enjoy a $30 discount at checkout by using the code ODI at www.wordtrippers.com/odi

     

     

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    You can enjoy a $30 discount at checkout by using the code ODI at www.wordtrippers.com/odi

    The post What IS the Difference Between “Since” and “Because”? appeared first on Office Dynamics.

     
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